My counselor did not warn me when he helped me reconnect to emotions that these pesky things are messy, sneaky, inconvenient and down right troublesome. I am struggling in a morass of emotions of my own making. But I’ve never been happier, more at peace or better adjusted. Too many people want to runaway from emotions by any means possible, bottom line, they creep back into your life over and over. Holidays are supercharged with emotions….not just good ones either. I was shocked when I was feeling a deepening sadness just because I couldn’t send a Halloween card to every grandchild. There is no mailing address for Heaven. I took a mental health day and drove to her grave site and sat there for a while. Picked up the flowers that were knocked down on a neighboring grave. I then took cards to everyone of the grandkids that lived close enough for me to drive to their houses. Some I mailed because they live too far away. Grief snuck up on me. It came camouflaged as sadness. I am learning that many emotions hide behind other emotions. Sadness hides grief. Anger covers for hurt, fear and frustration. This is just the beginning of how convoluted and screwed up emotions can be. No small wonder I would rather hide out in my computer game world than sift through the mounting deluge of emotions. Big sigh. I can do tough stuff. Emotions are tough stuff.