Routines

Major groan subject…Boring….been there done that. Why have such a dull post? “I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and…

Waking up

Judy’s comment on Sleep reminded me of the hazards of waking up. Judy – I changed my alarm clock from a buzzing monstrosity to a radio station I like (K-LOVE) or a CD. Part of sleeping is waking up.  Has everyone noticed that after you go to sleep you wake up?  (Really need a sarcasm…

Sleep

Ask a person with PTSD about their sleep and you will get anything from “It’s great, I actually got 4 hours of sleep” to “Shut the hell up.”  Sleep is not kind for this is where your mind can be very unruly and bring up the past with videos with new additions or a constant…

Waiting

I’m waiting until I get back from vacation to add more pages and information. I’m working from my phone and I’m terrible with one finger typing. I am experimenting with white noise to help me sleep. Note to self: chimes are very annoying. So far rain and thunder is the most soothing.

Authenticity

PTSD is brutal.  Severe dissociation is an elaborate hiding game from yourself.  The most difficult challenge is to choose authenticity in a world that wants you to “Don’t worry, be happy.”  Feeling what you feel when others tell you to ‘fake it until you make it’ is a difficult challenge.  Sometimes I prefer to be home…

Black Bag

I didn’t start counseling knowing there was anything unusual about my past.  My husband and I were going for marriage counseling.  Several homework assignments had confusing results before my counselor finally asked me about my past. I told him it was great, we went to the park and the zoo. He then asked me, “Tell…

Bread and Butterflies

One of the more annoying statements I read about PTSD are the ones telling me that I can be like I was before bad stuff happened. I would need to go back to 4 years old. Silly for me. More important than that why? No one attempts to put a loaf of bread in the…

Independence Day

In the United States we celebrate Independence Day on July 4th. This day is in commemoration of the signing of the Declaration of Independence.  Courageous men worked together to create a separate nation from England.  Most of the men that signed that document gave their lives, fortunes or what every it took to change the…