Mega Trigger for me

I struggled with reading as a child.  I also had a really lousy teacher and almost every student in that class had a major set back.  Trauma in the classroom makes it hard to learn.  In high school, I changed it all.  I worked hard taking difficult classes and graduated in the top 5% of…

Woes of People Pleasing

I’m combining these next two things that I did.  This was a monster hurdle because everyone loves someone that does everything for them, right?  Yup, lots of rewards but sometimes at a terrible cost.  The cost of myself, my relationships, my dreams, my needs didn’t exist. 12. “I feel the need to please everybody I…

Capital letters

I know all caps is shouting on line but this next behavior would be all capitals. “I have trouble accepting any kind of love because growing up, it was always given with strings attached or used a tool for manipulation. I don’t trust that others have the capacity to love me unconditionally, so I hide…

Don’t Make Waves

Years ago I heard a joke that typifies how I used to respond to most situations. I had a dream that I died and went to the bad place…..I was given a choice of 3 different doors like Let’s Make a Deal. Behind door number one there was screeching and screaming.  I shook my head.…

Compliments

I did it for years.  I negated every and any compliment I received.  If someone said I did something well, I pointed out what I messed up.  Every compliment was turned aside or ignored.  I wouldn’t….couldn’t see myself as a good person, so compliments must be a lie.  Turned my world upside down and inside…

Your Life Matters

I’ve joined a PTSD Facebook page.  This was one of the ideas to help remind yourself for self-protection.  Ashley kindly gave me permission to share. Thank you Ashley I put on some dollar store temporary tattoos to help keep me safe tonight. I’ve had the worst weekend due to the holiday and have an extensive…