Living intentionally

A new year, a new beginning, the same pain and the same challenges.  I laughed when a teacher at church shared that he does not make New Year Resolutions because he likes to spread his failures out over the whole year.  I hate new year resolutions because I hate the sound of them breaking on…

Neuroplasticity

Such an awesome word.  Sounds something odd and weird.  In a sense, it is.  It is our brains ability to change.  Scientist are learning that PTSD and CPTSD are forms of brain injuries.  Some people feel doomed by this diagnosis.  I felt relieved to have a name for my pain.  It was no longer a…

Self-care takes Courage

I get frustrated with doctors.  They hear I have PTSD, suddenly every ache and pain is stressed caused.  Sometimes it isn’t.  My leg has bothered me for months.  I thought a fall last summer may have been the cause but no bruising to indicate any damage.  My friend at karate pointed out that I was…

2 Weeks

This is a long time for me to not even check this web site.  It is mine to care for but the ebb and flow of my life is that my life is super overwhelming right now.  Medical procedures that require me to be unconscious are massive triggers.  It is all I can do to…

Ebb and Flow

I am working on something new to me.  Probably not new to most people.  In the past, no matter how stressful life becomes I am going to accomplish several things on my mental list or beat myself for not doing this.  This is the new school year, happens every august about the same time.  This…

Fear of Success

Raised in trauma with my earliest memories terrifying, I could list off a huge number of fears.  Fear of the dark, fear of strangers, fear of stray dogs, fear of blah…blah…blah.  The one I didn’t expect ever and was totally unaware of until counseling was a fear of success.  I was puzzled for a long…

Quitting and Pausing

Last post was a list of things to quit.  Part of changing to healthier ways of living is quitting old bad habits that no longer fit into our growing life style.  However, not quitting healing is an important journey.  I am thankful that my first counselor understood how much work there is in healing past…