Victor vs Victim

I saw myself as small, helpless, dominated, squashed….a worm with no back bone.  If anyone called me a victor I would look at them very strangely.  I did not see myself in a positive light.  Yet, I believed I could change.  I chose change, lots of change. As I changed, I started looking at different…

Helplessness

To me, this was the hardest to overcome but once I did, learning about my own power is a key element to my continued healing.  As long as I believed I was helpless, I could not believe I could be responsible for my change.  I needed to take back my power.  I needed to believe…

Self-protection

I am responsible for protecting myself.  Too long I waited for my mother, my father, my husband, someone to protect me…..I waited……..and waited.  Then I started counseling.  Maybe the counselor would protect me?  Nope.  He informed me that he would teach me how to protect myself. NO That’s it.  One word, no explanation needed.  I…

Self-compassion

Learning Self-compassion is a long term goal. I can actually say I made improvements.  I am grieving a huge loss, instead of beating myself up for not moving mountains and working as if nothing happened, I am giving myself time each day to feel sad.  I cry when I need to.  I am not expecting…

Practice What I Preach

For weeks, I’ve written about the importance of self-care.  Now it is time for me to practice what I preach.  Deep sadness came to our family when our little granddaughter lived less than an hour.  We knew ahead of time.  I tried to prepare.  I underestimated the impact of one tiny little girl.  We said…

Different definition

I don’t consider this a self care for me.  I like planning things.  I like spacing out my errands so they don’t get all jammed on the same day.  I am happy to be alive and doing so many different things. However, I do give myself permission to have a no peopling day. https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/25-obvious-non-obvious-self-care-issues-complex-trauma-survivors-struggle-with-lilly-hope-lucario/ 25.…

Not Selfish

Self-care is not selfish.  Hard to believe this or implement it if as a child you are told that getting enough to eat is being selfish.  I was told I had to go hungry so my brother could have seconds.  Sad thing, food would spoil in the refrigerator because it wasn’t eaten fast enough.  As…