Victim Mentality

My counselor asked me why didn’t I tell?  At first I didn’t know, because I didn’t remember.  To help me get in touch with my feelings he gave me a children’s coloring book about feelings to use.  Color this page happy and what color is sad and so on then came the page “What would…

Stress, What stress?

Today on one of the Facebook pages a person on the CPTSD page wondered why she was feeling so stressed when she liked to stay home.  I pointed out to her that there is a big difference between choosing to stay home and being trapped at home.  Death threats if you don’t comply.  Accusations of…

Scapegoating

I was the family scapegoat until my sister was born.  Then that role was transferred to her while I was given the family care giver role.  However, both my sister and I were blamed for negative things in the family.  My father’s worse insult was to call someone a “Girrrl.”  To him, there was nothing…

What it is not

In the media, online and gossip around me have some fairly messed up ideas about PTSD.  PTSD/CPTSD is not rudeness, cruelty to others, or criminal behavior.  Recently, I heard someone say that the reason a person was so rude was because they were mentally ill.  WRONG.  Missing social skills, yes.  Lack of proper upbringing, yes. …

Risk factors

  WARNING!!!!      Today’s post is a rant.  If this is triggering or uncomfortable for you, skip today’s post.  Have a blessed day.   We have a sweet and kind custodian that takes care of our classroom.  She is so gentle.  Friday she walked in when the teacher and I were talking about next…

Not Symptoms

Occasionally, the computer crashes and I totally lose a post.  I decided sometime ago I needed a different approach.  Attempt number 2.  There are 3 things sometimes attributed to PTSD/CPTSD that are not symptoms: rudeness, cruelty, and criminal behavior.  Raised in an abusive home, especially where emotional abuse is present, leaves a child missing basic…

Many Faces of Shame

Shame came up fairly early in my counseling.  I was given a book about shame and tried to explain that there was shame and toxic shame only there isn’t a different name for toxic shame so there is shame that is good for you and shame that is bad for you but no wait maybe…