Truth

First, I had to know what it was.  My entire childhood was so full of lies to protect ‘family image,’ I didn’t even realize how much I lied.  Sometimes the lies were omitting the truth but that was necessary for my survival.  I would get punished for telling the truth.  If I reported truthfully to…

The ‘I’ Statement

I believe this is one of the most powerful tools I was ever blessed with.  Thank you first counselor.  He taught me the power of the ‘I’.  I came to his office complaining, “He did that…..” “She did this……”  I didn’t understand that as long as I phrased all my thinking in what the other…

Anger as a tool

Yup, I needed anger in my tool box.  I don’t mean the kind of out of control that shuts off your brain type anger.  Babies use anger to get their needs met.  However, let a baby cry long enough, often enough the baby stops fighting for what it needs and dies.  With that side note,…

Unexpected Side Effect

Cloud and Townsend, in their book Boundaries, reminded me one of the unexpected side effects of setting boundaries.  In the process of setting boundaries, I identify my needs.  I remember the first time my counselor asked me what I wanted.  I looked at him blankly.  I had no idea.  As I selected my rights and…

The ‘B’ word

Once you understand that you have rights to protect it is time to add Boundaries to the tool box.  You can review the page that I have on boundaries.  https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/coping/boundaries/ These are the books on Boundaries that my counselors suggested: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend http://store.cloudtownsend.com/boundaries-softcover-book.html http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454 This book is based…

I have rights

The next basic tool to go in my toolbox was what rights do I have as a human being?  My abusers convinced me I had no rights.  I had no right to expect respect, no right to expect to be fed, no right to expect anything….nothing belonged to me and I existed because they allowed…