Grief and happiness coexists

Dissociation from my emotions is a symptom of PTSD/CPTSD.  I was numb.  I didn’t feel pain but I didn’t feel happiness either.  I was so completely detached from my feelings that I couldn’t tell you at any given moment what I felt.  I knew I had feelings….sometimes I was happy and sometimes I felt bone…

What it is not

In the media, online and gossip around me have some fairly messed up ideas about PTSD.  PTSD/CPTSD is not rudeness, cruelty to others, or criminal behavior.  Recently, I heard someone say that the reason a person was so rude was because they were mentally ill.  WRONG.  Missing social skills, yes.  Lack of proper upbringing, yes. …

Survivor’s Guilt

I am doing a bit of light Summer reading.…(please read that with intense sarcasm.)  If talk of mass shootings is triggering for you…..please skip today’s post. They Call Me “Mr. De”  is the book written by Frank DeAngelis, former principal of Columbine High School.  This high school was one of the first mass shootings after…

Smiling depression

The title of the article caught my attention right away, which it is supposed to do. 15 Things Only People With ‘Smiling Depression’ Understand I remember talking to my first counselor and complaining that my doctor told me I was depressed and didn’t know it.  He smiled and gently asked, “Do you ever feel angry…

Not Symptoms

Occasionally, the computer crashes and I totally lose a post.  I decided sometime ago I needed a different approach.  Attempt number 2.  There are 3 things sometimes attributed to PTSD/CPTSD that are not symptoms: rudeness, cruelty, and criminal behavior.  Raised in an abusive home, especially where emotional abuse is present, leaves a child missing basic…

4 Fs of Stress Response

I am on Facebook and joined two groups that are similar to each other but slightly different.  One is Living with CPTSD and the other is Healing from CPTSD.  Matt, one of the founders and sometimes administrators, shares some of the most awesome stuff.  I like sharing but I also respect copywrite laws.  I am…