Hiding the ‘Dark Side’

*******Warning discussion of suicide*******     I learned that I couldn’t continue watching the Star Wars series when they showed how Darth Vader came to be.  If it feels too real, it is not entertainment. 17. “[I] won’t let anyone see the ‘bad’ side of myself.” https://themighty.com/2017/06/childhood-emotional-abuse-adult-habits/ I don’t want people to see the residual…

Woes of People Pleasing

I’m combining these next two things that I did.  This was a monster hurdle because everyone loves someone that does everything for them, right?  Yup, lots of rewards but sometimes at a terrible cost.  The cost of myself, my relationships, my dreams, my needs didn’t exist. 12. “I feel the need to please everybody I…

Don’t tell me why

I get articles about PTSD and depression…Every so often one of the articles tells me how I feel and why.  Don’t just don’t.  This particular article was about depression and stated why I feel depressed.  The article did share one of the causes of depression but it is not my cause for depression.  Over years…

Feeling left out

I wanted to write an article with references about PTSD/CPTSD and relationships.  Bless my husband for sticking with me through a rollercoaster of experiences and counseling.  I want to share tips and ideas plus share resources to back up what I am writing.  Frustration is finding articles that don’t talk about before and after trauma. …

the 4Fs

Most people are aware of the two stress responses Fight or Flight.  Back in 1920, Walter Cannon coined the phrase that I grew up with all my life. https://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~berczii/hans-selye/walter-cannon-fight-or-flight-response.html My mother studied stress so I heard plenty about it.  However, I was in counseling before I learned these basic primal responses have a couple of cousins,…

Tears of loss

I started counseling over 15 years ago.  At the time, I told my counselor I could count on one hand how many times I had cried, then I named them.  He taught me that crying was an expression of deep emotion and was good for releasing pent up feelings.  I was ridiculed as a child…

Happiness is a choice Sort of

I’ve heard it all my life that happiness is a choice, sort of.  What I couldn’t keep up was the demand that I be happy constantly and any time I was less than happy I was flawed, needed fixing, or needed to snap out of it.  I am happy, sad, funny, weird, crying, excited, and…