Toxic People

I heard of toxic people and I thought criminals….not so.  Hardest thing about counseling was learning that some of the most toxic people I know are in my own family.  If I am not very careful, I am a toxic person… very depressing. Pavelka Health Revolution Do you have people in your life who are…

Sometimes the answer is NO

I put off this question because it is staring me in the face right now….. “Couldn’t we at least…?” This is the question to ask that will enable you to get unstuck, as they say. It’s what enables you to get past disagreement to some consensus, as in couldn’t we at least agree that we…

Triangulation

This technique in keeping a victim confused and down is sometimes called ‘bringing out the flying monkeys.’ (Wizard of OZ reference… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SESI19h4wDo ) When an abuser can’t put you down themselves, they enlist others to do their bidding.  Or if they can’t win an argument they will bring in a third party person to ‘gang up’…

Last Straw

People seem to expect that the final reason a person leaves a relationship is something big.  Sometimes this is true.  However, many times it is a matter of ‘the last straw that broke the camels back.’  The term refers to the piling on and piling on of events or behaviors that put so much stain…

Who decides hurt?

I enjoy Facebook pages that post stuff that encourages, makes me think, and agrees with me.     The reverse is also true.  If I tell someone they hurt me, they don’t get to decide that they didn’t. One of the important things that I learned in counseling was I decide what hurts me.  As…