Cost of Depression

This week I am struggling with a deep bout of depression.  I know the source.  My mother stomped on a hot button that was buried since high school.  A button that I only vaguely alluded to when I was in 10 years of counseling.  Depression holds down the volcanic rage.  Yes, depression is a tool…

Family Headache or heartache

Almost everyone has challenges with their family…for one there is history….sometimes a long, ugly history.  Expectations are often higher for family than for friends.  Walking away from family can be complicated or feels impossible.  Guilt trips and button pushing can abound.  I also seen another side of family filled with acceptance, encouragement, standing by each…

Interested in learning Coding

Yes this is a random post… Students at our high school are learning computer programing using https://code.org/ I finished course 2 and about half way through course 3.  I believe if I had learned programing this way, I would enjoy it a lot more.  Zombies and bees running mazes.  Bees collecting nectar and making honey. …

Decompose

I am learning what the students at school are learning about computer programming.  I believe if I learned programming this way in the first place, I wouldn’t have the anxiety I do now.  I stopped taking computer classes when I felt sick at the thought of taking another one.  Code.org is free.  The 2 minute…

Facing fears

Over 4 years since I started taking Karate.  Of all the things I’ve done to regain my life from PTSD, this one thing has done the most to help me trust myself.  Each belt the moves and challenges are more intense then the level before.  I struggle with mat work.  Falling forward into a forward…

Why didn’t I do this years ago?

This is a forever lament for those in the healing process.  Why didn’t I get counseling years ago?  Why didn’t I get away from that abuser years ago?  Why? Why? Why? I found a quote that I believe encapsulates why. “At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then…

The other 1%

Yesterday I wrote that “Radical changes fail about 99% of the time for me.” Then there is the other 1%.  Radical changes happen.  One of my radical changes was switching from computer engineering to photography degree in college.  I had enough hours to graduate with a degree and a half because many of my engineering…