Self-abuse

One of the confusing things that my counselor spent many hours trying to help me understand was I needed to fire my mean boss.   That mean boss that expects me to arrive early and leave late.  The one that doesn’t allow any sick time.  Punishes me for not doing enough.  Rages at me for the…

Negative Tape

My counselor commented that the things I say to myself are some of the worse things I’ve ever heard all compacted onto one short ugly tape, played every time I make a human mistake.  He pointed out that I would never say to someone else what I say to myself…. In Pavelka’s toolbox he called…

Calming myself (part 1)

A post on Facebook led to a link to an article with 49 phrases to use to calm an anxious child.  I am going to explain how these can be used to calm an anxious adult, especially yourself:  (My inner child needed lots of calming, especially when I was in counseling and remembering my past.) …

Are you filling your bucket?

I read the book How Full is your Bucket?  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=how+full+is+your+bucket Others picked up on the idea of filling your own personal bucket by filling other people’s bucket. Recently on Facebook I came across a link on how to fill children’s buckets.  http://www.bucketfillers101.com/bucket-lessons.php The most important thing I learned is I do more damage to my…

Counter Act Self-Neglect

Self-nurturing is the way to counter act self-neglect.  One of the harder things I had to do to was to recognize what I needed.  I was trained to self-neglect.  If you aren’t fed when you are hungry the concept that my needs could be met was a bit far fetched.  The first portion of this…

Self care

One of the challenges of CPTSD is the long time belief that I am not worth taking care of.  I work at reminding myself that I am worth taking care of myself.  Nurturing, tender, proper care is not self indulgence.  It is taking the time to take care of myself in a healthy way.  Self…

Learning from a child

An important part of surviving PTSD is allowing myself to experience missed childhood adventures and feelings. Early in my life I was trained not to feel emotions.  When I started feeling my emotions I spent much of my time trying to name them and understand them.  I looked at each one from every angle.  I…