Survivors rarely self-care

One of the things pounded into abuse victims is they are not worth caring for or even getting the basics like enough food, proper clothing, or bathroom breaks.  Conditioning trains them to view self-care as selfish and how dare they not meet the needs of the abuser first.  Then comes a change and the victim…

It’s her fault

All over people are celebrating the blessings of mothers and motherhood.  Sadly, it is not a day of celebration for many.  Heart break when you can’t have children.  Heart break when a baby doesn’t live.  Heart break of a still born child or miscarriage.  Heart break of losing a mother to drugs, alcohol or death. …

Self-compassion

Learning Self-compassion is a long term goal. I can actually say I made improvements.  I am grieving a huge loss, instead of beating myself up for not moving mountains and working as if nothing happened, I am giving myself time each day to feel sad.  I cry when I need to.  I am not expecting…

Spending Therapy or

Self-care.  Hard to sort this out when I am trying to take care of myself or am I spending money not to really help myself but to have fun spending money or am I just a muddled mess when it comes to money. 15. Spending money on things for myself, getting haircuts and pedicures, making…

Self-care, Are you?

What?  I am supposed to self-care?  Don’t I have enough to do caring for everyone else? https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/25-obvious-non-obvious-self-care-issues-complex-trauma-survivors-struggle-with-lilly-hope-lucario/   Judy, my sister, found this link and shared it on her project/blog. Last round of 25 things my sister wrote after I did.  This time I think I will reverse it and post the link to her…

Self-abuse

One of the confusing things that my counselor spent many hours trying to help me understand was I needed to fire my mean boss.   That mean boss that expects me to arrive early and leave late.  The one that doesn’t allow any sick time.  Punishes me for not doing enough.  Rages at me for the…