Back to Basics

I was doing really great at the beginning of this year, at least I thought so. Then Covid locked downs hit. My job went from classroom to practically nothing, but fortunately still employed. I still thought I was doing ok. Not impressed with the World reaction to another flu, but I was coping. Then after…

How are we programming our minds?

I read long posts on Facebook and find amazing stuff. I am not the author but I certainly believe this applies. I am working on how I talk to myself. It is challenging and this Facebook post gave me a lot to think about. Sometimes I am dreading something, so I actually set myself up…

All my blogs are changing

All my blogs are changing in format and look not because I am choosing this but because computers changed constantly and I don’t do well with change.  Now that is a complex sentence.  I realized this week that I have not posted on any one of my 3 blogs.  No pictures No PTSD/CPTSD No self. …

1989 shredding

Deep clean…..the papers I shredded today were from 1989 the house we bought 30 years ago.  We are now in a different house and state.  The papers were labeled house/save.  So I saved them, through 3 moves and 3 different states.  I asked DH* to go through them with me.  Old cars, house, appliances, long…

“It’s painful to walk on eggshells.”

This is what one of my fellow people on a CPTSD Facebook group shared.  It jumped off the page at me.  I walked on eggshells my entire childhood.  Any misstep I would break something and be in trouble again.  Of course, everyday I got in trouble.  Walking on eggshells sounds like no big deal but…

Not for the Faint of heart

Stay home they said….you won’t get sick they said……I refuse to listen to any more of their “Do this or that” propaganda.  More political than healthy.  To keep myself occupied at home I tried to do things to help my teachers but didn’t have much to do from home.  Time on my hands.  For years,…

What if…

What if you don’t know what is wrong with you.  I first noticed that there was something different about me when I was a teenager.  I listened to my friends talk about crushes, school, and family I felt totally out of the loop.  I was fascinated by their perspective but my concerns and worries didn’t…

Love of Dogs

We had several dogs in our home.  One dog was very unusual.  A beautiful German Shepherd flunked out of the seeing eye program.  The dog found a forever home with us.  Before I knew I had PTSD, looking back I realized our dog behaved like a PTSD trained dog without the training.  He would nudge…

Pete Walker

If you follow other blogs or groups online eventually you will come across someone recommending Pete Walker or one of his books.  Someone asked me if I read his books when I was in counseling….no.  He hadn’t written them yet.  When I started my therapy, Complex PTSD wasn’t on the horizon yet.  My counselor reluctantly…