Mega Trigger for me

I struggled with reading as a child.  I also had a really lousy teacher and almost every student in that class had a major set back.  Trauma in the classroom makes it hard to learn.  In high school, I changed it all.  I worked hard taking difficult classes and graduated in the top 5% of…

Hiding the ‘Dark Side’

*******Warning discussion of suicide*******     I learned that I couldn’t continue watching the Star Wars series when they showed how Darth Vader came to be.  If it feels too real, it is not entertainment. 17. “[I] won’t let anyone see the ‘bad’ side of myself.” https://themighty.com/2017/06/childhood-emotional-abuse-adult-habits/ I don’t want people to see the residual…

Different Facets

Of the same problem….Trust. 14. “I avoid asking help from anyone because I don’t trust anyone. I believe if someone offers me a hand, there will always be something they [want to] ask in return. I have friends but I don’t have a best friend. I keep my distance from people. Automatically, my wall blocks…

Woes of People Pleasing

I’m combining these next two things that I did.  This was a monster hurdle because everyone loves someone that does everything for them, right?  Yup, lots of rewards but sometimes at a terrible cost.  The cost of myself, my relationships, my dreams, my needs didn’t exist. 12. “I feel the need to please everybody I…

Capital letters

I know all caps is shouting on line but this next behavior would be all capitals. “I have trouble accepting any kind of love because growing up, it was always given with strings attached or used a tool for manipulation. I don’t trust that others have the capacity to love me unconditionally, so I hide…

Don’t Make Waves

Years ago I heard a joke that typifies how I used to respond to most situations. I had a dream that I died and went to the bad place…..I was given a choice of 3 different doors like Let’s Make a Deal. Behind door number one there was screeching and screaming.  I shook my head.…