Off to work I go

This week I started working at work for 2 days.  Most people would think, “Why is this post worthy?”  First off, my contract doesn’t start until tomorrow.  I was called in early.  I offered to come in to help with the distribution of computers to students and they decided to take me up on my…

Resetting boundaries

Quarantine was a natural boundary.  No one comes in and no one goes out.  Boring but predictable.  Things are opening up some places but with a new restriction or boundary.  You have to wear a mask.  NOT going well with that one.  Someone chided me that it is just a piece of fabric.  Yes, a…

10 rounds with PTSD

Spent the last 10 days wrestling with what shot my PTSD into over drive.  Sleepless nights, anxiety, isolation, fear, raging anger, too sick to exercise, stuffing emotions with food.  Finally figured it out, I am freaking mad over having to wear a mask.  I stay away from people.  I never applied for a job that…

Personality Quizzes

Chatting online one of the concerns brought up are the personality quizzes.  I took several. One I took was mandatory because of the type of medical test I was having.  (Checking for epilepsy; no, I don’t have it.) I also help our students take different quizzes to find out what they like for possible career…

Sent myself to my room

Before I started counseling, I recognized that at times I would get raging angry.  I knew my anger was out of proportion of the incident.  I would send myself to my room.  I placed a blood shot eye TV vegetable with fat lip in front of my door.  Fair warning I was not reasonable, not…

Skills to learn

Before I started counseling I learned that to change your actions you need to change your thoughts.  I intellectually got it but something seemed missing.  I didn’t realize the thing missing was my own connection to my emotions.  Counseling shed light into the dark parts of my mind and helped me start to connect my…

What if…

What if you don’t know what is wrong with you.  I first noticed that there was something different about me when I was a teenager.  I listened to my friends talk about crushes, school, and family I felt totally out of the loop.  I was fascinated by their perspective but my concerns and worries didn’t…

Adults not much different than kids

A friend posted 8 things kids do that are actually anxiety in disguise.  I read the list and decided I do most of them at different times.  I followed the link on the meme to find the original posting. 8 Ways A Child’s Anxiety Shows Up as Something Else I like that they have linked…

Love of Dogs

We had several dogs in our home.  One dog was very unusual.  A beautiful German Shepherd flunked out of the seeing eye program.  The dog found a forever home with us.  Before I knew I had PTSD, looking back I realized our dog behaved like a PTSD trained dog without the training.  He would nudge…