Another shift

My son-in-law teaches people about how to shift their paradigm….I’ve read along and nodded my head; then it struck me, I need another paradigm shift.  For those not familiar with paradigm, it is the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that we live by.  Many of these beliefs and behaviors started in childhood.  If you had a…

Change apologies to thank yous

I ran across two of these memes so I posted both of them.  Not sure which came out first.  Before counseling, I apologized all the time, even when things were not my fault at all.  I felt like anything unpleasant was my fault.  If I just did better, prepared better, been better the problem would…

Grief and happiness coexists

Dissociation from my emotions is a symptom of PTSD/CPTSD.  I was numb.  I didn’t feel pain but I didn’t feel happiness either.  I was so completely detached from my feelings that I couldn’t tell you at any given moment what I felt.  I knew I had feelings….sometimes I was happy and sometimes I felt bone…

Self -regulation button broke

Been a rough 2 or 3 months.  Tons of family stuff happening and changes at work.  I realized recently I must have broken my self-regulation button or turned it off.  That button that when pushed you do the adult thing when you are supposed to do it.  Not the broken one of not going to…

Milestone Literally

Last week end I took a trip with my daughter.  In the past, she did all the driving while I chatted with the kids, crocheted or slept.  This time she felt sick.  Our choices were go home or I drive.  I chose to drive.  I hit a record of driving almost 8 hours.  I haven’t…

2 Weeks

This is a long time for me to not even check this web site.  It is mine to care for but the ebb and flow of my life is that my life is super overwhelming right now.  Medical procedures that require me to be unconscious are massive triggers.  It is all I can do to…

Ebb and Flow

I am working on something new to me.  Probably not new to most people.  In the past, no matter how stressful life becomes I am going to accomplish several things on my mental list or beat myself for not doing this.  This is the new school year, happens every august about the same time.  This…