Triangulation

This technique in keeping a victim confused and down is sometimes called ‘bringing out the flying monkeys.’ (Wizard of OZ reference… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SESI19h4wDo ) When an abuser can’t put you down themselves, they enlist others to do their bidding.  Or if they can’t win an argument they will bring in a third party person to ‘gang up’…

Diversion Tactics

I came across an interesting article that lists that different ways that toxic people use to manipulate and confuse their victims.  The article is interesting, however the picture at the top may be triggering for some people. http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/ I am familiar with many of these and on the receiving end of quite a few.  Counseling,…

Layers of nightmares

My sister shared this article with me on Facebook, thanks Judy.  http://www.militarytimes.com/story/military/advice/kevlar-for-the-mind/2016/07/11/hopeful-sign-combat-veterans-nightmares-insomnia/86937384/ Shares a method called ERRT – Exposure, Relaxation, and Rescription Therapy This method is not new.  What is new they are starting to test it.  The frustrating part is no one can make money off of this because it is not a new…

Enjoy

Sometimes I write a blog post that belongs on both blogs….today is one of those days. One of the challenges that I have is believing I deserve joy, happiness and fun.  I separate them because each one has its own nuance and source.  I was introduced to this concept when I read Life’s Uncertain, Eat…

Learning to rebel

My counselor taught me how to rebel.  I needed to rebel against the label of ‘over active imagination,’ ‘unforgiving,’ ‘unreasonable,’ and other negative descriptions that justified my parents treating me like a 3rd class citizen in my home growing up.  This disconnect between what the outside world saw and what I experienced.  My mother tells…

Therapist questions

Finding the therapist that works well with you depends on more than pot luck.  Unfortunately, the first counselor you see may not be a person that you can work with.  On Facebook I follow Lilly Hope Lucario, she wrote an excellent article on some of the questions to ask a counselor.  I recommend going to…

Holidays and Families

I spent a wonderful few days with family and enjoyed the 4th of July relaxing.  I enjoy taking pictures of fireworks but this year I spent it at home with an awesome dinner with DH and keeping our dog comfortable.  My sister said that she watched the fireworks on TV and this helped calm her…

Last Straw

People seem to expect that the final reason a person leaves a relationship is something big.  Sometimes this is true.  However, many times it is a matter of ‘the last straw that broke the camels back.’  The term refers to the piling on and piling on of events or behaviors that put so much stain…