Back to Basics

I was doing really great at the beginning of this year, at least I thought so. Then Covid locked downs hit. My job went from classroom to practically nothing, but fortunately still employed. I still thought I was doing ok. Not impressed with the World reaction to another flu, but I was coping. Then after…

How are we programming our minds?

I read long posts on Facebook and find amazing stuff. I am not the author but I certainly believe this applies. I am working on how I talk to myself. It is challenging and this Facebook post gave me a lot to think about. Sometimes I am dreading something, so I actually set myself up…

Coming out of the Fog

One of the things I learned during my years of counseling is depression acts much like a dense fog covering everything and obscuring my view from all else except the smothering depression.  Since the mask mandate in our area, I am struggling with the worse depression I felt in a long time.  It took a…

All my blogs are changing

All my blogs are changing in format and look not because I am choosing this but because computers changed constantly and I don’t do well with change.  Now that is a complex sentence.  I realized this week that I have not posted on any one of my 3 blogs.  No pictures No PTSD/CPTSD No self. …

Off to work I go

This week I started working at work for 2 days.  Most people would think, “Why is this post worthy?”  First off, my contract doesn’t start until tomorrow.  I was called in early.  I offered to come in to help with the distribution of computers to students and they decided to take me up on my…

Resetting boundaries

Quarantine was a natural boundary.  No one comes in and no one goes out.  Boring but predictable.  Things are opening up some places but with a new restriction or boundary.  You have to wear a mask.  NOT going well with that one.  Someone chided me that it is just a piece of fabric.  Yes, a…

10 rounds with PTSD

Spent the last 10 days wrestling with what shot my PTSD into over drive.  Sleepless nights, anxiety, isolation, fear, raging anger, too sick to exercise, stuffing emotions with food.  Finally figured it out, I am freaking mad over having to wear a mask.  I stay away from people.  I never applied for a job that…

Words to look up

People online complain that their therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist will not use CPTSD as a diagnosis.  According to their own manual of disorders DSM-5, it doesn’t exist, so for insurance purposes some other set of letters are used.  My counselor wouldn’t even give me PTSD, until my work wanted to know exactly what I was living with. My…

Victim Mentality

My counselor asked me why didn’t I tell?  At first I didn’t know, because I didn’t remember.  To help me get in touch with my feelings he gave me a children’s coloring book about feelings to use.  Color this page happy and what color is sad and so on then came the page “What would…