Attachment Issues

Do people that were abused have attachment issues?  The question really needs a sarcasm font.  The first person that a baby gains attachment to is the first caregiver.  If the caregiver is the one that abuses, neglects and harm that relationship, what does the baby connect to?  Sometimes no one. In the list of best…

Therapist response

I learned from reading about it and from my own experience that the response of the therapist is key to moving forward in therapy.  I was blessed with my first counselor that delivered just the right mix of validation, encouragement and teaching new skills.  Later experiences I had one not believe me, another tell me…

Interview your Therapist

I’ve mentioned before that before starting with a new counselor it is important to interview them just like any other person you would hire for a job.  I decided not to go with one counselor after the second visit because it was so obvious by her actions that she knew very little about working with…

Draining the Lake

I entered counseling with the idea of getting marriage counseling.  After years of raising kids I felt like there was this stranger in my house that I was married to.  I was in for a real shock when after 2 months the counselor explained that my reactions to the homework assignments were not what he…

Victor vs Victim

I saw myself as small, helpless, dominated, squashed….a worm with no back bone.  If anyone called me a victor I would look at them very strangely.  I did not see myself in a positive light.  Yet, I believed I could change.  I chose change, lots of change. As I changed, I started looking at different…

I wish they knew

What would you like therapists to know about the experience of DID? Most of this applies to PTSD too.  Fast answer: All of us are real.  Telling me that some of myself is not real pushes me to not believe myself.  I am real, all of me and me and me.  I separated out to…

What if?

For the most part, I don’t like to look at what ifs?  Leaves me playing a game of creating a life that was never there.  How ever, what if I didn’t have a counselor?  Sadly, this is a growing issue. Two things are hitting hard.  Many insurances don’t cover mental health appointments or the number…