Self evaluation time

This is the time of the year I review my progress.  I made it through Christmas time.  I love the season but tend to plan more than I could ever accomplish.  I lost presents that I bought this summer and had to buy things for my granddaughters. They’ll get the other presents when I find…

Truth

First, I had to know what it was.  My entire childhood was so full of lies to protect ‘family image,’ I didn’t even realize how much I lied.  Sometimes the lies were omitting the truth but that was necessary for my survival.  I would get punished for telling the truth.  If I reported truthfully to…

deNile just ain’t a river

Not me! Nothing all that bad happened to me. I don’t remember anything bad happening. Problems happen to everyone. Every kid has bad things happen.  Its just part of growing up. Denial……If you don’t believe it happened then it didn’t happen, right? Wrong…..your body remembers.  Your subconscious remembers.  Your nightmare remembers.  Denying anything is wrong…

Authenticity

PTSD is brutal.  Severe dissociation is an elaborate hiding game from yourself.  The most difficult challenge is to choose authenticity in a world that wants you to “Don’t worry, be happy.”  Feeling what you feel when others tell you to ‘fake it until you make it’ is a difficult challenge.  Sometimes I prefer to be home…