Building your toolbox

I finished Pavelka’s toolbox I have additional tools beyond the ones he mentions.  My counselor worked at making sure I have a well stocked toolbox for how to handle different situations.  I learned not to use a sledge hammer when a ball ping hammer will do.    I still use some of my heavy duty arsenal,…

Fear – Friend or Foe

I am fascinated that the last item on Pavelka’s toolbox is understanding fear.  My counselor spent many, many sessions on this one subject.  He explained to me that I lived a fear based life.  I made decisions not on what I wanted but what I was afraid would happen if I didn’t take a certain…

Attitude of Gratitude

“I have an attitude and I know how to use it.”  Seems contradictory.  One of the many things I learned in counseling is the Art of Gratitude.  Like many life skills, gratitude is a skill that needs to be taught.  Receiving a gift, a compliment, or some good deed may be difficult for someone with…

Just do it

Just do it is more than a slogan for a company.  Pavelka referred to procrastination stealing time. https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2016/12/05/pavelka-toolbox/  I became a believer after reading the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.  https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-Anyway/dp/0345487427 The most recent example was DH and I celebrated 40 years of marriage attending TSO Trans Siberian Orchestra concert. http://www.trans-siberian.com/ The stadium…

Self Esteem Challenge

A survivor of child abuse knows that their self esteem bucket had holes punched all over it…Some of their buckets were run over by a semi-truck and trailer.  Some abuse survivors can still hear the ‘beep, beep, beep’ of that truck backing up.  Words like what Pavelka mentions for his toolbox seem like a foreign…

Letting Go!

Tough one here.  How many times I wished that the memories in my mind would be let go?  Please understand, I forgot everything about my life before high school and not much in high school  I forgot but my body didn’t let it go.  I had body memories, triggers, and extreme reactions with no understanding…