I finished Pavelka’s toolbox I have additional tools beyond the ones he mentions. My counselor worked at making sure I have a well stocked toolbox for how to handle different situations. I learned not to use a sledge hammer when a ball ping hammer will do. I still use some of my heavy duty arsenal,…
I am fascinated that the last item on Pavelka’s toolbox is understanding fear. My counselor spent many, many sessions on this one subject. He explained to me that I lived a fear based life. I made decisions not on what I wanted but what I was afraid would happen if I didn’t take a certain…
Abusers manipulate people through ‘gift giving’ with the expectation that their target should be grateful for getting a Trojan Horse. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Trojan-horse A victim of such gifts are sometimes viewed as ungrateful from 3rd parties that do not understand the danger of such ‘gifts.’ When is a gift not a gift? First what a gift is…
“I have an attitude and I know how to use it.” Seems contradictory. One of the many things I learned in counseling is the Art of Gratitude. Like many life skills, gratitude is a skill that needs to be taught. Receiving a gift, a compliment, or some good deed may be difficult for someone with…
Just do it is more than a slogan for a company. Pavelka referred to procrastination stealing time. https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2016/12/05/pavelka-toolbox/ I became a believer after reading the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-Anyway/dp/0345487427 The most recent example was DH and I celebrated 40 years of marriage attending TSO Trans Siberian Orchestra concert. http://www.trans-siberian.com/ The stadium…
A survivor of child abuse knows that their self esteem bucket had holes punched all over it…Some of their buckets were run over by a semi-truck and trailer. Some abuse survivors can still hear the ‘beep, beep, beep’ of that truck backing up. Words like what Pavelka mentions for his toolbox seem like a foreign…
Tough one here. How many times I wished that the memories in my mind would be let go? Please understand, I forgot everything about my life before high school and not much in high school I forgot but my body didn’t let it go. I had body memories, triggers, and extreme reactions with no understanding…
