Pray for your enemy

I am Christian….recently I was introduced to a different concept of praying for your enemy.  I often feel like I am my own worse enemy.  My mean boss expects me to arrive early to work, stay 15 minutes later, and work on projects from school, even when I am home sick.  I call myself names when I make a mistake.  I refuse to forgive myself for not being strong enough, smart enough or something else enough to stop my abusers.  I am brutal in my self criticism.  If I talked to my friends and family the way I talk to myself, no one and I mean no ONE would want anything to do with me.  A challenge I experience with PTSD and others report similar experiences….the abuser moves into your head and sets up shop.  Dishing out one cruel comment after another.  Horrific events loop themselves back to be viewed, rewound and then viewed again ad nauseam.  Distractions, drugs (legal or not), busyness, video games, dare devil behavior and any number of desperate means sought to silence the enemy within.  I am adding to my list of self care activities, praying for my worse enemy, me.

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