Can become strengths, but not by themselves.
I spent years trying to fix me. My counselor cautioned me to stop working so hard on my weaknesses every day. I was puzzled….how could a weakness become a strength if I didn’t work at correcting them. He was trying to help me see if my only focus was my weaknesses then how could I see my strengths….and did I consider the possibility that some of the things I was trying to correct were strengths already. I doubted him. In fact, it was a good thing he was very self confident because I was skeptical of many things he told me.
This is a list of the ways PTSD/CPTSD affect me in a negative way. I realized I reinforce some of them because in a sense they helped me to be strong and survive incredible odds. I suspect you are shaking your head right now disagreeing with me. That is OK. You can….I challenge you to keep reading.
1. Deep Fear Of Trust
So how can fear be good? I learned that fear is a survival instinct. Without fear someone would step into on coming traffic without a thought to their own safety. The book Gift of Fear forever changed my attitude of that emotion. https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0440226198 I watched my mother self destruct because she embraced her fears and didn’t see anything else. What if I treated my fear like the red flag it is supposed to be? On occasion I have trusted someone that I learned later was not trust worthy. Rather than working on not being fearful, what if I worked on judging situations I’m in for my good? I was conditioned to make others feel safe and comfortable. What if I included myself in that quest? Fear is my early warning sign that something may not be what it appears to be. What if I treat that fear of someone with the respect of saying I will stay aware that this person may not be what they appear to be. Allow myself to let others gain my trust because of actions not because they said they are trust worthy. One of the ways an abuser hurt me most was to convince me that my fear was stupid. That I should trust them. Folks, grooming a child to accept sexual abuse requires the child to stop believing their own discomfort. My fear, my lack of trust was an early warning signal I was in danger. Now what I work on is checking in with myself is my fear a reaction to something from my past or am I dealing with a situation that I am in danger?
Got you thinking yet? What are some things or someone you fear that in a sense may be accurate information that you need to be cautious?
I’ll continue with the list tomorrow.