End of the school year is always hectic and busy. Big events occur with a few extras thrown in. Fashion show is this week, culmination of months of work. Sick teacher had me subbing today…always wearing for me. Relief of a major burden leaves energy and room in my life for things I love. I…
I ponder and wonder about things that happen in life. I carried with me a terrible burden that my mother threatened suicide when I was a teenager because I wasn’t doing enough to help her. Yet she resented everything I did to help her. I carried this terrible secret and burden for years. Last night…
This week I am struggling with a deep bout of depression. I know the source. My mother stomped on a hot button that was buried since high school. A button that I only vaguely alluded to when I was in 10 years of counseling. Depression holds down the volcanic rage. Yes, depression is a tool…
Almost everyone has challenges with their family…for one there is history….sometimes a long, ugly history. Expectations are often higher for family than for friends. Walking away from family can be complicated or feels impossible. Guilt trips and button pushing can abound. I also seen another side of family filled with acceptance, encouragement, standing by each…
Yes this is a random post… Students at our high school are learning computer programing using https://code.org/ I finished course 2 and about half way through course 3. I believe if I had learned programing this way, I would enjoy it a lot more. Zombies and bees running mazes. Bees collecting nectar and making honey. …
I am learning what the students at school are learning about computer programming. I believe if I learned programming this way in the first place, I wouldn’t have the anxiety I do now. I stopped taking computer classes when I felt sick at the thought of taking another one. Code.org is free. The 2 minute…
Over 4 years since I started taking Karate. Of all the things I’ve done to regain my life from PTSD, this one thing has done the most to help me trust myself. Each belt the moves and challenges are more intense then the level before. I struggle with mat work. Falling forward into a forward…
This is a forever lament for those in the healing process. Why didn’t I get counseling years ago? Why didn’t I get away from that abuser years ago? Why? Why? Why? I found a quote that I believe encapsulates why. “At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then…
Yesterday I wrote that “Radical changes fail about 99% of the time for me.” Then there is the other 1%. Radical changes happen. One of my radical changes was switching from computer engineering to photography degree in college. I had enough hours to graduate with a degree and a half because many of my engineering…
Radical changes fail about 99% of the time for me. My counselor taught me the power of nudge. If you watch motivational speeches you may listen to the difference between good and great is one degree. The difference between hot water and boiling water is one degree. Look through several of the videos and recognized…
PTSD - Accepting, Coping, Thriving 