Not for the Faint of heart

Stay home they said….you won’t get sick they said……I refuse to listen to any more of their “Do this or that” propaganda.  More political than healthy.  To keep myself occupied at home I tried to do things to help my teachers but didn’t have much to do from home.  Time on my hands.  For years,…

Over load

I put myself into over load.  My body fought back and won.  I slept through most of the weekend.  Missed out on Easter activities, visiting with family and writing posts.  So what happened? Every year in Early Childhood Education there is a unit on abuse, specifically child abuse.  I spend a day talking to students…

Unruly emotions

A minor annoying experience suddenly goes haywire with emotions that are over-the-top extreme flashback.  I am no longer a confident adult but a cringing terrified/angry/helpless child. I know logically that the event did not warrant the level of emotion that washed over me like tsunami.  Several of these stood out in my memory.  When I…

Draining the Lake

I entered counseling with the idea of getting marriage counseling.  After years of raising kids I felt like there was this stranger in my house that I was married to.  I was in for a real shock when after 2 months the counselor explained that my reactions to the homework assignments were not what he…

4 years ago

I started this blog about PTSD.  Then very few blogs existed for PTSD other than military.  Now, many blogs share their journey and what they learned.  Then I was planning to write a book, now there are many books to choose from all ready written. Making time to read them all is a bit of…

Self-care, Are you?

What?  I am supposed to self-care?  Don’t I have enough to do caring for everyone else? https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/25-obvious-non-obvious-self-care-issues-complex-trauma-survivors-struggle-with-lilly-hope-lucario/   Judy, my sister, found this link and shared it on her project/blog. Last round of 25 things my sister wrote after I did.  This time I think I will reverse it and post the link to her…

Burden lifted

I ponder and wonder about things that happen in life.  I carried with me a terrible burden that my mother threatened suicide when I was a teenager because I wasn’t doing enough to help her.  Yet she resented everything I did to help her.  I carried this terrible secret and burden for years.  Last night…

Looking back to move forward

Emerging from Broken is one of the blogs that is another survivor learning to live.  Learning that their past needs to be acknowledged and accepted before going forward in the healing process. Emerging From Broken “I had been defined by the ways that others treated me. I believed that I didn’t deserve more then what…

Cellular Level

Why can’t I get away from my memories? Written on our mind and in our bodies these bundle of cells lurk waiting to be reactivated when a smell, sight, sound, touch or taste hit that hot button and fire off a flashback.  The evidence is piling up from research and personal experience.  I didn’t remember…