My sister brought my attention to Scott Williams. We’ve discussed his posts on more than one occasion. The particular post that caught my attention is on Resilience.
Several things that I noted. First, he gives a clear definition of what he means. I was curious because one of the things my counselor said to me was I needed more of this and less adapting and accepting that abuse was normal. Long term trauma in childhood leads a child to believe that abuse is ‘normal.’ As I child I was taught lies as if they were truth. Opinions were paraded as facts. He needed me to learn that adapting to stress as a doormat is completely different from the healthy resilience that lends to coping with life stresses. Resilience takes a tool box of coping tools. Adding to the tool box on a regular basis increases the number of options in any given situation. Scott Williams is interested in sharing his ideas, tools to add to our tool boxes, and perspective in a respectful, caring voice. I’ve read several of his posts and am now following his blog. I believe that he is on the right idea of making Facebook become useful by following pages and people that enrich and add to my life. Several of my facebook friends that I have never met post amazing pictures that brighten my day. I read information on PTSD. I try not to repost too may of them. Unfortunately, Facebook starts hiding the things I don’t repost or like or comment on. I do find that Facebook used as Scott suggests can become a source of inspiration. Blogs I read share their struggles and epiphanies of what they have learned from their experiences. The biggest point that I appreciate is his perspective on time:
If you have been struggling with anxiety for forty years and some idiot with a badge tells you that he/she can fix you in 6 sessions, chances are they have a carnival ride for you to try. You have not put in the requisite time to neurologically/emotionally/psychologically and spiritually change on a fundamental level. Brief interventions only work if your issue is timely, or leads to something not so brief after all.
I started counseling with the belief that it would be a summer project, 2-3 months. We barely scratched the surface in that time. It took 6 months for both my counselor and I to grasp how totally screwed up I was for over 40 years. The damage was extensive. Abuse came in every variety from multiple sources. My counselor expressed his amazement that I clung to any sanity at all. I sometimes described myself like a spider on a single thread spinning out of control but that thread kept me connected to surviving. My counselor encouraged me to build a web of information that was healthy. Took me many years of retraining to help me understand what healthy looks like. I believe that I am a life long journey to improve myself. This is another thing that Scott Williams and I agree. Learning healthy is a life long endeavor…no quick fixes shared here. Plenty of encouragement that healing is possible and progress may seem slight exists. Building a healthy life takes time.