One of the struggles of PTSD or Complex PTSD is the tendency for the symptoms to take over everything. I find it difficult sometimes to remind myself that I am not PTSD. I have PTSD and the diagnosis gives me a term to look up to find out ways other people over come their struggles. I decided to limit how often I mention PTSD on my other blog because I wanted a place to explore other things that I am experiencing. An abusive childhood does work like a cancer of the soul. I need to actively undo damage and learn skills that most toddlers learn but I didn’t have time or teacher when I was young. PTSD can be so disruptive that my whole world revolves around dealing with symptoms. It takes a conscious effort to develop and explore other areas of my life. I think one of the things I love about art is my ability to become totally absorbed in the process. Photography is my favorite medium but not my only one. I was required to take a drawing class. I was told by a well meaning art teacher in 8th grade that I was terrible and should never take another art class. Sadly, I believed her. I came to art from the computer side. (Or some people consider the Dark side.) I was the Art lab computer tech. When I interviewed for the job of computer tech in the art department, I told them I had zero art experience. I didn’t try to make myself out to be something I wasn’t. My parents were artists, my children were artists, I figured I was the generation skipped. The professors didn’t understand how zero zero could be. I fell in love with photography when my job required I take a photography class so I could understand why they felt the computers weren’t working correctly. I learned the problem. Computers and printers do not believe blue is the same color, one is royal blue and the other is navy blue. While fixing computers, I became more and more involved with outstanding artists preparing for Master Shows. Printing images that graced walls of museums all over the world. It was amazing work. I changed my major to Photography. I took a drawing class the same time that I had cancer. Art absorbed my attention so completely, I could reduce my pain medication. It blocked all thought of cancer from my mind for sometimes hours at a time. Art became the avenue that helped me accept my cancer and later PTSD.