I planned this post when I wrote yesterdays post. One of the comments stated so clearly how to begin the journey towards healthy self-love and self-respect.
From Grace to Survive: “remember gentleness, compassion and warm, loving feelings towards oneself, that they begin within, that yes, I deserve it too, in fact, I deserve it first before all others.”
Patience, long suffering and all the things we offer those we love. Before I started counseling I learned that gratitude was one of the ways I recognized and acknowledge good things happen to me. During dark times in my 30’s, I could barely be out of bed more than 20 minutes a day. I was miserable and felt like a total failure. I couldn’t do the smallest thing to care for my family. I felt humiliated and at that time, I didn’t know my own past. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Thousands of dollars of medical test all said there was nothing wrong. During this time my mother called once a week. I worked to find one good thing to say to her each week during the phone calls. Yes, sometimes it took all week to find one good thing.
Here is a challenge I share with anyone with PTSD or loving someone with PTSD. Every week write down one good thing. I kept a “Warm Fuzzy” box. I actually put fake fur on a 3×5 card box. (Sadly, I lost it during one of our many moves.) I would write good things down and put them in the box. Then when bad days hit, which was most of the time, I could take out the cards in my warm fuzzy box and reread them. This was not my original idea. Years before my dark ages, I read the book Side Track Home-executive. The book shared the happiness file idea. This is a link to the information. http://shop.makeitfunanditwillgetdone.com/the-sidetracked-sisters-happiness-file
I never guessed that learning about housework and how to get organized would be one of the steps in learning to love myself. I still struggle with a messy house but the happiness file is a goldmine I want to share.