Healthy Self-Love

I planned this post when I wrote yesterdays post.  One of the comments stated so clearly how to begin the journey towards healthy self-love and self-respect.

From Grace to Survive: “remember gentleness, compassion and warm, loving feelings towards oneself, that they begin within, that yes, I deserve it too, in fact, I deserve it first before all others.”

Patience, long suffering and all the things we offer those we love.  Before I started counseling I learned that gratitude was one of the ways I recognized and acknowledge good things happen to me.  During dark times in my 30’s, I could barely be out of bed more than 20 minutes a day.  I was miserable and felt like a total failure.  I couldn’t do the smallest thing to care for my family.  I felt humiliated and at that time, I didn’t know my own past.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me.  Thousands of dollars of medical test all said there was nothing wrong.  During this time my mother called once a week.  I worked to find one good thing to say to her each week during the phone calls.  Yes, sometimes it took all week to find one good thing.

Here is a challenge I share with anyone with PTSD or loving someone with PTSD.  Every week write down one good thing.  I kept a “Warm Fuzzy” box.  I actually put fake fur on a 3×5 card box. (Sadly, I lost it during one of our many moves.)  I would write good things down and put them in the box.  Then when bad days hit, which was most of the time, I could take out the cards in my warm fuzzy box and reread them.  This was not my original idea.  Years before my dark ages, I read the book Side Track Home-executive.  The book shared the happiness file idea.  This is a link to the information.

I never guessed that learning about housework and how to get organized would be one of the steps in learning to love myself.  I still struggle with a messy house but the happiness file is a goldmine I want to share.

RM6_6405Rainbows of happiness can show up after a big fall.

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