Think Again…

I follow several PTSD pages on Facebook.  I am struggling lately with some of the attitudes I am encountering.  I think they bother me most because I struggle with the same thing.  They moan and groan that they want to be accepted for themselves in spite of their PTSD and actions.  (I do separate PTSD and how people choose to act.)  Then they rave how much they hate PTSD.  How can myself or anyone else expect others to accept what we hate in ourselves?

My first counselor pointed this out to me.  We share similar religious beliefs and he knew I responded to scriptures and Christ, so we often used this in our counseling sessions.  He pointed out the Christ commanded us to Love our neighbor as our selves.

Mark 12:31 – And the second [is] like, [namely] this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

He pointed out that it did not say love my neighbor and hate myself.  It did not say love my neighbor in spite of myself.  It says, “as thyself.”  He then proposed the possibility that as long as I hated myself, I could not love others.  I felt devastated that session.  (Did I mention that counseling is rough?  Take note, counseling can push buttons you didn’t know existed.)  I pondered on this for a long time.  I felt I failed in so many ways.  I joked that I was run by a committee that hated each other.  This one conversation was a turning point for me.  If I wanted to show my love to my husband and children, I needed to love myself, PTSD and all.  Acceptance begins with me.  How could I love me when I was so screwed up?  How could I believe that others love me if I hate myself?

Destroy dreamssm

3 thoughts on “Think Again…

  1. I think it’s important to grow your self acceptance, and I also think it’s ok to love others workout necessarily loving yourself… for so many of us, loving ourselves is one of the biggest obstacles. I’m glad your counselor was able to point you to a more accepting path though 🙂 ❤

  2. You’re not screwed up but rather suffering from the effects of cruelty by the hands of others. Like me, try to remember gentleness, compassion and warm, loving feelings towards oneself, that they begin within, that yes, I deserve it too, in fact, I deserve it first before all others. I forget daily, most of the day. I have worked for moments of this self-compassion, and hopefully if I work long enough, the loving moments will replace the core of self-hate built in childhood so unfairly.

  3. Thank you Samantha Jane. I agree that loving yourself is difficult. As I moved down the path of loving myself I find that the love I have for others deepens and broadens to take on a depth of meaning I didn’t understand before.

    Thanks Grace to Survive. I will use part of your comment for my next post sharing how to step towards loving yourself. Thank you for sharing.

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