Anyone would agree that going from couch potato to marathon runner in a week would be ridiculous. Yet, I tend to do this to myself emotionally. I can barely get out the door on a good day then I expect myself to attend a large party or a highly stressful event without feeling wiped out. Ain’t going ta’ happen. I took a week recovering from being partially in charge of a fashion show for our students at school. I am thankful I had a co-teacher that helped me with many parts of the preparation. The actual event was a large group of people with lights turned out, special effect lights flashing, and my back to most of the audience. It was an emotional marathon of coping second by second. I focused on my main part, taking pictures of the students. I survived. I also took all week to recover after the show.
Too often, I listen or read about people trying to recover from trauma and expect to go from totally not coping to functioning perfectly in every situation after a few counseling sessions. Or they expect themselves to giant step through the healing process and get discouraged that all this stuff takes time. Sometimes LOTS OF TIME and work. I could sit around doing nothing to improve myself and I will remain exactly as I am. I hit rock bottom before I started turning my life around. I remember the warning said on Callanetics that if it took 10 years messing your body up, it will take about the same amount of time to straighten it out. I used the video and read her book. It was where I began to take back my body and my life.
Along the way, I learned that I can do anything for 5 minutes. I lived 5 minutes at a time for years. I spent almost 3 years in bed before I started fighting back to try to figure out how to live. I went to the doctors and they ran every imaginable test. My body was supposed to be normal, it didn’t work that way. I learned more about baby steps from Flylady. I also discovered that her rate of improvement is much faster than my. I became quickly over whelmed by her 15 minute method of baby stepping through life. That was 3 times too long for me. 5 minutes, I can do 5 minutes. Add up 12 five minutes and I made it an hour. I learned from Flylady but set my own slower pace.
Flylady baby steps http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/babysteps/
Each puzzle piece I learn about self improvement started to fit together in counseling. If we tried to do too much in one session, my emotions would flood and I would completely shut down to the point I couldn’t drive home. I would plan to wait an hour afterwards until I could function again. I wanted to get through the healing process as quickly as possible. Like a toddler walking across the room, if I went to fast I would crash to the floor. Back to couch potato to marathon runner, I need to change my ways a little at a time. Expecting too much too soon sets me up for failure. My counselor finally forbid me to work more than an hour a day on the healing process. He encouraged me to smell the flowers, color in a coloring book, or watch a good movie. Putting all my effort into running an emotional marathon drains my resources for anything else. I want to heal but healing needs to be done in baby steps.