There is a page I follow that lately has ranted that it is not fair to be told by counselors and others that a person can’t be loved unless they love themselves.  I’m going to alter that a bit to perhaps shine a different meaning on what is being said.  Until I believed myself lovable, I didn’t believe people when they said they loved me.  I was always looking for the hook.  What did they want from me?  I thought they were just pulling one over on me.  I actually preferred not to be told than to be lied to.  Took MANY years of counseling before I saw myself as a lovable person.  I still struggle with my ability to feel loved.  I believe what the counselor tried to explain that a person doesn’t feel loved until they believe it is possible.  I still struggle with compliments because I don’t believe them.  I still struggle with hugs because I don’t feel huggable.  I still struggle with believing that someone loves me because I still struggle with seeing myself as lovable.  The counselors are right, in my opinion, until I believe and see myself as a lovable person, I’ll think the other person is lying to me.  I believe that is one of the cruelest distortions from my childhood that I’m not good enough to be loved.  I’m thankful to my husband for sticking with me and a counselor that taught me I am worth loving.