There is a page I follow that lately has ranted that it is not fair to be told by counselors and others that a person can’t be loved unless they love themselves. I’m going to alter that a bit to perhaps shine a different meaning on what is being said. Until I believed myself lovable, I didn’t believe people when they said they loved me. I was always looking for the hook. What did they want from me? I thought they were just pulling one over on me. I actually preferred not to be told than to be lied to. Took MANY years of counseling before I saw myself as a lovable person. I still struggle with my ability to feel loved. I believe what the counselor tried to explain that a person doesn’t feel loved until they believe it is possible. I still struggle with compliments because I don’t believe them. I still struggle with hugs because I don’t feel huggable. I still struggle with believing that someone loves me because I still struggle with seeing myself as lovable. The counselors are right, in my opinion, until I believe and see myself as a lovable person, I’ll think the other person is lying to me. I believe that is one of the cruelest distortions from my childhood that I’m not good enough to be loved. I’m thankful to my husband for sticking with me and a counselor that taught me I am worth loving.