I posted on my other blog several suggestions to prepare to visit family or have them visit you. Check out the link for more links and ideas….. http://weareone-ruth.blogspot.com/2013/12/preparing-to-be-with-family.html
This is the post:
TR wrote a wonderful post with ideas on things to pack for family visits. Whether overnight or a few hours advance preparation can make the difference between another disaster and a visit to remember happily. I am going to add a few more suggestions that I remember from other blogs but can’t give credit since I am not exactly sure who made the suggestions.
* Have an exit plan- Decide in advance how long you plan to stay, also decide under what circumstances to leave early. You can always revise your plan if the visit turns out enjoyable.
*Prepare statements in advance to questions you know will come – It is always amazing to me that family think it is ok to ask incredibly rude questions, a suitable comeback planned in advance can help you navigate rough waters. This one is one of my favorites from KavinCoach: “Let me get back to you with that answer.” Most people rarely get back with you.
*Remember that “No” is a complete sentence, no explanation is required.
*I remind myself that I am worth protecting. I am no longer the person that can be bullied.
Adding a bit to the original:
*Clarify in advance how long people are planning to stay at your own house. Some people make huge assumptions about what you can do as a host or hostess
*Allow yourself time to step away from the group or party. A spare bedroom or backyard area designated for quite time can help facilitate chances to be on your own for a while.
*No obligation to fall into line with someone else’s plans for the day or evening. Recognizing that their plans are theirs and I do not have to say yes because the asked me. (Refer to above that No is a complete sentence.)
*Keep a notebook available when you know the person is a crazy-maker. Documenting others behave provides documentation and a point of reference. Yes, I wish I did this when I was younger.
Those that go no contact are not exempt from packing for the Holiday burst of family time….sometimes they need to unpack. You know leave guilt, fear and regret behind.
Christmas is a wonderful time of year when we maintain our boundaries and treat ourselves with the same kindness that we treat others.
If you have other suggestions please add them in comments and I will include them with this post.
Judy’s post http://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2013/12/24/happy-christmas-eve/ added this link about giving and receiving words: