The one thing that as soon as you think you got it, you lose it.  Too many times I confuse humility with humiliated.  I am needing to sort this in my head after listening to inspiring talks about the necessity of humility.  As a child, I was humiliated often.  Actions and behaviors of others that set me up to fail and fail miserably for their entertainment.  Sarcasm, teasing, and making fun of those that are considered less are common practices of bullies and abusers.  It leaves their victim feeling powerless, small and useless.  However, humility is an emotion that I choose for myself.  Synonyms that I like are teachable, open to new experiences, vulnerable, unpretentiousness are a few that come to mind.  There is also a negative side fawning, servility, abasement, and inferiority complex.  My counselor talked to me about the differences.  Humility in the healthy way comes from a place of power and strength choosing to follow God’s will open to where He leads.  Humiliated, or negative humility, comes from a place of fear and cowardice attempting to hide from everything including God.  Take God out of the picture and humility is still helpful.  It opens me up to possibilities that I wouldn’t consider while clinging to fear.  To humble myself to learn life’s tough lessons without those lessons breaking me is complex.  I chatted with my Dad tonight and he shared his frustration with current events.  He wanted to know what God wanted him to learn from this experience.  I pointed out several things he learned, some of them not pleasant.  I surprised myself when I told him, “Dad The Lord promises that He will make bad things good.  He doesn’t say bad things are good for us but that good things will come from them.  We need to look for the good.”  Humble myself to find good things I can from the mess in my life.  It is a change of mindset.  Humiliated I count the hurts, humility I count my blessings.  Yes, for me, Christ and Heavenly Father are part of my healing process.  I felt the Holy Ghost lead me to solutions time and time again.  I am working on strengthening my faith.  I need to keep upper most in my mind that with enemies about the Lord still prepares a table, blessings and miracles, not waiting for trials to leave but right in the midst of my challenges.

Psalm 23King James Version (KJV)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  (I will have the things that I need.)

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.   (Abundance and calm in my life)

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.   (He soothes me and leads me to doing good.)

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  (If I am in hard places, courage takes me forward.  God’s correction and guidance blesses me.)

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  (Enemies are a nonissue to God, He blesses me and my life is filled with blessings.)

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.  (Goodness and mercy are blessing I experienced.  I am thankful to my Lord.)

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