What if…

What if you don’t know what is wrong with you.  I first noticed that there was something different about me when I was a teenager.  I listened to my friends talk about crushes, school, and family I felt totally out of the loop.  I was fascinated by their perspective but my concerns and worries didn’t…

Quick definitions

Shared on Facebook by my friend in Australia…. I learned that website readers can’t read a picture so here is the text: Six little stories with lots of meaning Once all villagers decided to pray for rain.  On the day of the prayer, they all gathered together, but only one little boy brought an umbrella. …

Living in fear

Living is fear is not new to me.  My counselor pointed out I lived a fear based life.  My childhood revolved around jumping through ever changing hoops to avoid some punishment.  Then there were the weirdness of some punishments I preferred.  If I complained about eating a meal with bell pepper in it, I would…

Question of Church

Yes, my abusers went to the same church as I did. I was blamed by people at church.  I experienced victim shaming at church.  There are unpleasant people at church.  So why do I still attend church?  My relationship with God, the Father and Jesus Christ are not about them.  I felt the promptings of…

They Call Me Mr. De

I finished reading They Call Me Mr. De by Frank DeAngelis.  He is the principal that experienced the mass shooting at Columbine High School. He gives a bit of his own history as to how he became principal at Columbine HS.  He shares his perspective of what happened that day.  Needed lots of tissues to…

Loss of Faith sometimes

Faith is a tricky thing.  First off, not everyone believes it is the same thing. The computer dictionary shares this on faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something; strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. From the article: “Complex trauma survivors often endure…

Not mentioned in the list

Reading over the list of abuses recognized by the State governments, I realized one did not make the list.  Recognizing religious abuse is one of the most difficult to pinpoint and acknowledge. I recognize that religion is a hot topic for many abuse survivors for a good reason.  I totally understand if a reader decides…

Biggest Mood Changer

And I hate it.  Yes, I will be up front, I hate exercise.  Yet it is one of the biggest most awesome mood changers.  Little endorphins are set loose on your nervous system and your body loves it.  I was a couch potato for years because my body did not give me another choice.  As…

All emotions

I lived without emotions for quite a while.  I would file them under the ‘do not disturb box.’  I did this for a good reason.  Growing up in a home where being ’emotional’ was like the worse thing you could do, I stifled my emotions more and more.  Did not help growing up being a…