Things to Quit

I found a poster on Facebook and I am linking back to where it came from.  https://www.facebook.com/messageoflife1808/

 

  1. People pleasing is a survival technique also called fawning.  This is another way of describing laying down and letting yourself be a doormat.  No one appreciates a doormat, they just wipe their feet and move on.
  2. Change is the very essence of growing.  All things change as they grow.  Fearing growth keeps a person stuck.
  3. There is a difference between remembering your past and living in the past.  My counselor spent many sessions helping me to understand that today does not require yesteryear’s survival tactics.  I am in a totally different place and I need tools for what I am doing now.
  4. Thinking every possible angle is a survival technique trying to anticipate the abusers next move.  Staying several steps ahead is survival.  Staying several steps ahead takes you out of this moment here.  Enjoy the moment means not trying to overthink every possible consequence.
  5. We are all different.  As children fear of being different can paralyze growth.  Another way to say this is be your own person and let other people opinions be their problem and not yours.
  6. I learned that sacrifice is important sometimes.  However, abusers expect everything with no return.  They want you to please them but the consequences for you are not on their horizon.  I would rephrase this one to fill your own bucket first then give from a place of abundance.  Self care is not selfish.
  7. Thinking you’re not good enough is all about comparison and someone else’s opinion of you.  I kept trying to be good enough not understanding that if I happened to get good enough they moved the standard so that I would fail.  I worked at learning to ignore the opinions of those that compare me in a negative way.  I am not their opinion.
  8. Abusers convince their victims that their sole purpose is to be please the abuser.  Stop serving the abuser then what is left?  Building a dream, a purpose, a magnificent goal is all about thriving.  Recapture your dream or create a new dream to strive towards…..pleasing your abuser is a guaranteed failure.  Creating your own dream and striving towards your purpose ignites the soul and is where the drive to succeed comes from.

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