Sometimes when I am invited to share, I share too much. I forget how tough some of my life was and how bad it can sound to someone else. It was “normal” for me and I don’t notice until I watch someone else’s reaction. I joke that I have a PhD in hard knocks. I still need to learn to share less or a little bit and see how they handle that much. I want others to know that there is life after trauma. I am passionate about sharing that a crappy childhood does not have to translate to a crappy adult life. Learning to take charge of myself was a long slow process. My counselor took me back to what I call ground zero of deciding what is truth and no more lies. I lied all the time to protect the people that hurt me most. It was crazy and messed up. I stopped lying for them. I stopped covering up their cruelty. I stopped trying to fix their problems. I stopped being their doormat. I learned to take back my own power. I learned to accept myself. I learned that I am worth loving. Their loss that they could not accept me for who I am. Sadly, some people doubt that there are people in the World that are willing and able to hurt others. Rather than believe me, they think I am the liar to protect their own belief that parents are good to their children and no adult would purposely set out to destroy a child. I lived it. Not new information for me. I still need to tone myself down a bit. My counselor suggested installing a dimmer switch. So far, not very successful. I either don’t say anything or everything comes racing out all at once. Heavy sigh. Probably struggle with this all of my life. I stay quiet for so long it is a relief to have someone willing to listen. Bummer, too much is still too much. One counselor actually implied I was lying to get attention. I informed her I would not be using her services. Tough stuff happen, however, I don’t need to share it.