Last week end I took a trip with my daughter. In the past, she did all the driving while I chatted with the kids, crocheted or slept. This time she felt sick. Our choices were go home or I drive. I chose to drive. I hit a record of driving almost 8 hours. I haven’t driven more that an hour in over 30 years. It felt good. Driving home I again drove about half the distance. It was a milestone for me that in my mind underlined the huge improvement in my health.
Today however reminded me that I am not “better” just good days more often than not. Today was a rough day. I had two major challenges: subbing in a class and a bully in the library. I was bullied most of my childhood so this was a major hot button. The rush of adrenaline and the subsequent reactions challenged myself control. I am not regretting how I handled the situation but I am just so darn mad that I am put in this situation in the first place. I feel like what they are asking me to do is along the lines of security but I do not get paid to do security type work. Nothing I am doing during lunch duty is in my job description. Plus there are 5 other adults in the room and most of them seem to just not care about what students are doing. Today after work I came in the door and crashed out on the couch. Sleeping for hours then waking up feeling worse than when I went to sleep. These kinds of naps are not restful. More like comatose and waking up feeling like I am part of the Zombie Apocalypse. Now I am too awake to go to sleep when I should be sleeping. Heavy sigh…this is a win some – lose some week.
On the road again….
