Milestone Literally

Last week end I took a trip with my daughter.  In the past, she did all the driving while I chatted with the kids, crocheted or slept.  This time she felt sick.  Our choices were go home or I drive.  I chose to drive.  I hit a record of driving almost 8 hours.  I haven’t…

Question of Church

Yes, my abusers went to the same church as I did. I was blamed by people at church.  I experienced victim shaming at church.  There are unpleasant people at church.  So why do I still attend church?  My relationship with God, the Father and Jesus Christ are not about them.  I felt the promptings of…

Barriers to sharing

Hectic week but I am forging forward with the lists of best practice principles on Blueknot…https://www.blueknot.org.au/Workers-Practitioners/For-Health-Professionals/Resources-for-Health-Professionals/Best-Practice-Guidelines One of the difficult things about counseling is sharing an ugly past.  They point out that diminishing, discounting, and ignoring what happened are all part of the issues centered on sharing past events.  Blueknot points out several parts of…

Helplessness

To me, this was the hardest to overcome but once I did, learning about my own power is a key element to my continued healing.  As long as I believed I was helpless, I could not believe I could be responsible for my change.  I needed to take back my power.  I needed to believe…

Sleep is self care

And a nightmare for me, literally.  Some nights I stay awake not because I am thrilled with what I am doing but terrified of letting my brain connect with my subconscious.  Nasty things in there and I work hard at keeping them separated. 19. Sleeping.. I’ve slept about 6 hours in the last 48. https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/25-obvious-non-obvious-self-care-issues-complex-trauma-survivors-struggle-with-lilly-hope-lucario/…

Multifaceted Challenge

I put off for days writing this post.  How can I write about a problem that I haven’t solved?  My DH pointed out yesterday how painful it is for him to watch me self abuse my body by not eating healthy foods, staying up extremely late, and generallly doing this that are harmful for my…

He has my back

Being married to a person with PTSD is tough.  Ask my husband how difficult and unreasonable I can be.  Counseling so many years ago started with marriage counseling.  It quickly became obvious that very little marriage counseling could occur while I was so damaged and my thinking distorted by dissociation.  My husband went with me…