Self-care takes Courage

I get frustrated with doctors.  They hear I have PTSD, suddenly every ache and pain is stressed caused.  Sometimes it isn’t.  My leg has bothered me for months.  I thought a fall last summer may have been the cause but no bruising to indicate any damage.  My friend at karate pointed out that I was all red in the face but my foot was sheet white.  Not a good sign that there is an even distribution in the body.  He happens to be a doctor to, just not my doctor.  I finally screwed up the courage to call for an appointment.  I was surprised when they had an opening for the next day.  I was nervous with the male doctor but the nurse was there.  I needed my legged looked at.  Bummer.  More courage needed.  He had me lay day on my side with my back to him.  More courage and yes I checked to make sure the nurse was still there.  Great nurse.  He poked me several times with each one being more painful than the last.  It was a good thing I could not reach him.  A desire to poke him back hard was cropping up in my head.  More courage hold still.  Well.  Finally results I messed up a major nerve in my hip.  I told him about the fall.  He shook his head.  He then asked if I had been in a car wreck.  Yup, 3 years ago.  Because there was no bruising I figured no damage done.  Wrong.  Lots of damage getting worse over years of neglect, aggravated by my fall last summer or possibly the bum nerve caused the fall….bottom line, it is fixable with physical therapy.  And there you have it, months of increasing pain that was fixable because I was afraid to go to the doctor’s office.  I am very happy to start the physical therapy and very relieved that the pain can be relieved it is not old age setting in early.  Calling and going to the doctor takes a lot of courage.  I am a work in progress.  I will follow the physical therapist’s advice, I will improve my health.  Great goal for the holidays.

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