Not always obvious Emotional abuse

Quick definition of emotional abuse: http://dayoneservices.org/what-is-emotional-abuse/

This one is the hardest to recognize for me and the slowest to heal because of the constant erosion of my self worth; I felt their assessment was me.  Took many counseling sessions to start breaking through the abusive fog of self doubt, self condemnation, and believing their view of me.  When a parent hates you it is hard to see that anyone else could like you.

This article is a bit longer but more specific.  The hard thing about this is everyone does some of these sometimes.  https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse The way I look at it, one ant bite is not a problem, thousand of ant bites is.  I know this because I once sat on the grass not knowing it was an ant pile.  I had thousands of bites by the time I got home and into the shower to wash all those monsters off.  I was a mess.  I couldn’t go to school from all the sore itchy spots.  Another hard thing about it is telling someone else.  They look at one event and tell you it is no big deal, but it isn’t one event.  I had an emotionally abusive boss.  I was in counseling at the time.  My therapist taught me how to document and work with that mean boss.  Enough complaints finally ended with a huge meeting with all of the employees under this mean boss and the upper echelon staff.  I outlined a few things.  They finally told me to send it in an email.  I asked if they wanted it with or without documentation.  They told me both.  I sent 5 pages without and 30 pages with documentation.  I got a new boss.  I told them it was like being attacked by a swarm of bees not just one.  So when you read through these you may recognize the ones you do yourself.  You may think of someone that does a few, when you set appropriate boundaries this changes.  The ones you need to be careful of are the ones that are like an army of ants or swarms of bees.  Learn how to document encounters.  Start looking for patterns of behavior.  The thing I learned when I started setting boundaries and telling the person that I would no longer accept their behavior, an abuser will escalate their actions whereas others will accept the new boundaries and treat me differently.

 

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