Invalidation

  Shared with permission, Thank you Poppy. https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/72401941_889619328105588_7547656070617890816_o.jpg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_eui2=AeEUFMsiC1JML7R6qzFSpHDHXqV5uAUNYj4Rv6lojvkWWyYtsjStqZsFaf2rfQ_SpwFl6NwAOuMp_AeAw6WBqjArK-rBiXe9j89rXxFCwJ5vLw&_nc_oc=AQkTbPw4FvlIgvzfj4DhQ-ib8xeb-HjVyUNsjD6Ifsbt9iFcWieqtNObllK36MukuO8&_nc_ht=scontent-lax3-1.xx&oh=740a6ab8c06a992189dd52968401e059&oe=5E186A29 Sharing someone else’s work is difficult at best.  Almost impossible in some situations.  On Facebook or Pinterest so many people swap and share without linking back to the original. I think I found the right person for this excellent picture of emotional abuse through invalidation and what…

The beginning of abuse

I am working through definitions of the different types of abuses.  I saved emotional abuse for last since to me it is the beginning to all the other abuses.  Without emotional abuse the other abuses would not happen.  The first step or the beginning of abuse is to view the child as less than human. …

Permission to feel

Interesting how Lilly needs to write again about feeling all feelings including peaceful ones.  For me I needed permission to feel angry, sad, and all the ‘negative’ emotions.  Without the ‘negative’ emotions, I did not recognize feeling peace when it did come.  It got smothered along with all the other emotions.  My first counselor recognized…

Hidden forms of abuse

My daughter posted a link to a list of hidden forms of abuse.  Those behaviors that fall in the category of deniable.  The abuser turns things around and blames the victim. https://tapoos.com/relationships/9-abusive-behaviors-not-physical/?utm_source=virmed&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=VMPub146 Gaslighting – This is an intentional war on the mind and emotions of another person.  It is coined from a movie from the…

Burden lifted

I ponder and wonder about things that happen in life.  I carried with me a terrible burden that my mother threatened suicide when I was a teenager because I wasn’t doing enough to help her.  Yet she resented everything I did to help her.  I carried this terrible secret and burden for years.  Last night…

Behaviors of Abusers

Why bother sharing information about behaviors of abusers?  Sometimes you are so used to being put down, called names, made a butt of a joke, or gaslighted that you don’t recognize the behavior as abusive.  I work at a high school, about once a year I talk to the classes about boundaries and how to…