Smiling depression

The title of the article caught my attention right away, which it is supposed to do. 15 Things Only People With ‘Smiling Depression’ Understand I remember talking to my first counselor and complaining that my doctor told me I was depressed and didn’t know it.  He smiled and gently asked, “Do you ever feel angry…

Not Symptoms

Occasionally, the computer crashes and I totally lose a post.  I decided sometime ago I needed a different approach.  Attempt number 2.  There are 3 things sometimes attributed to PTSD/CPTSD that are not symptoms: rudeness, cruelty, and criminal behavior.  Raised in an abusive home, especially where emotional abuse is present, leaves a child missing basic…

4 Fs of Stress Response

I am on Facebook and joined two groups that are similar to each other but slightly different.  One is Living with CPTSD and the other is Healing from CPTSD.  Matt, one of the founders and sometimes administrators, shares some of the most awesome stuff.  I like sharing but I also respect copywrite laws.  I am…

Symptoms reviewed

I joined two groups on Facebook that focus on living with and healing from PTSD.  One of the moderators, Matt, posts some excellent links.  This one is a review of the different symptoms for several disorders that sometimes overlapping leading to not quite right diagnosis which may prolong finding the best treatment.  No small wonder…

Sad and continued sad

Sadness and sorrow and grieving are no longer accepted in society.  Feeling these emotions is now taboo.  The assault on sadness is long time story.  I remember at the earliest age the concept of a British stiff upper lip, enduring without showing any emotion for great losses.  As a child I was punished for being…

Super Power

My super power was dissociation and my counselor took my super power away.  Well, it felt like that.  Dissociation is the ability to disconnect, disengage and not be there for an experience. Lilly Hope Lucario https://themighty.com/2017/08/life-impacting-symptoms-of-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/  Lilly agrees with me that dissociation is a coping tool.  Works amazingly during times of extreme trauma.  Using dissociation…

Shame and Toxic Shame

Is there a difference? Some people treat all shame as if it is toxic shame.  I tried multiple times to read a book on shame.  I was so confused within a few pages at it batted back and forth between shame and toxic shame. Dictionary result for shame – Google dictionary /SHām/ noun 1. a…

Helpless, helpless and

helpless. One of the symptoms of PTSD/CPTSD is a feeling of helplessness.  However, my counselor taught me there are three kinds of helpless feelings.  The first one is the type of helplessness that a small child has facing a raging adult.  The child is helpless.  No way they can take on the adult.  This type…