Sadness and sorrow and grieving are no longer accepted in society. Feeling these emotions is now taboo. The assault on sadness is long time story. I remember at the earliest age the concept of a British stiff upper lip, enduring without showing any emotion for great losses. As a child I was punished for being sad, because in my mother’s opinion I had so much I had no ‘right’ to be sad. If a person is sad, people want to ‘make’ them happy, by whatever means possible. In counseling was the first place I encountered that not only was I allowed to be sad but encouraged that sadness and grieving is a necessary part of healing. Two different counselors explained that I needed to sit with those sad emotions and accept them. What? Wasn’t counseling supposed to ‘make’ me happy? I learned in counseling that sad emotions are not bad. Sad is not bad took a lot for me to wrap my mind around. Grieving was a good thing at times of loss and refusing to accept those sad emotions resulted in anger, dissociation and a host of other ailments all connected with mood disorders because I didn’t want the bad feelings that I was punished for as a child. Sadly I didn’t do much better as a parent. I didn’t learn until after my children were grown that sadness is the emotional reaction to loss. I needed to feel sad. I needed to grieve the great loss of my childhood. I needed to feel what I needed to feel and not punish myself for feeling those feelings.