Boundaries again

Reviewing my possible posts idea I came across yet another one talking about boundaries.  The reason I keep coming back to boundaries  is that many survivors with PTSD/CPTSD or just really odd coping skills show a definite lack of boundaries.  I struggled with the concept.  Listening to others talk about having boundaries and feeling so…

Consider boundaries

I dropped into holiday survival mode and stopped my course of study with Blueknot….several of the areas cover details of how long and how much therapy is needed for CPTSD/PTSD.  Mine was 10 years and 3 counselors.  I am still a work in progress.  I’m fortunate that my first counselor focused on teaching me the…

Attachment Issues

Do people that were abused have attachment issues?  The question really needs a sarcasm font.  The first person that a baby gains attachment to is the first caregiver.  If the caregiver is the one that abuses, neglects and harm that relationship, what does the baby connect to?  Sometimes no one. In the list of best…

Plan for the holidays

Right now we are twixt and between holiday’s.  Memorial day is coming up in the United States. Planning in advance for holidays gives you time to make a plan and practice. Holidays include birthdays, anniversaries of negative events, family events, graduations and all the holidays that hit the calendars. Just before Mother’s Day Mighty posted…

No is….

A complete sentence.  My counselor worked with me over and over and over and over, no, I didn’t get it until he had me practice repeatedly.  I kept giving huge humongous explanations as to why I was saying no….or more likely I didn’t say no, I attempted the impossible and failed, a lot. Which brings…

Not my biggest problem

Continuing on to #17 on the 25 obvious and non obvious 17. Biggest problem I have is remembering that I need to give myself more attention and love. Rather than continuously giving it all to others. https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/25-obvious-non-obvious-self-care-issues-complex-trauma-survivors-struggle-with-lilly-hope-lucario/ This is Judy’s perspective.  I really like it but it is not my perspective so you get different…

Self-care vs Selfish

***********Trigger warning*************  written specifically for those with a strong Christian background.   I was taught methodically and purposefully to neglect myself, to serve others, and self-care was being selfish.  Lies upon lies.  Martyrs come in all shapes and sizes.  Putting a cause, others, and anything else before yourself is foolish at best and down right…

Perfect victim

A perfect victim never fights back.  I didn’t cut toxic people out of my life either.  I just took it.  Progress came when I encouraged my husband to find work in another state and move 1000 miles away.  But my inner past came with me.  I didn’t stand up for myself on anything. 22. “I…

Different Facets

Of the same problem….Trust. 14. “I avoid asking help from anyone because I don’t trust anyone. I believe if someone offers me a hand, there will always be something they [want to] ask in return. I have friends but I don’t have a best friend. I keep my distance from people. Automatically, my wall blocks…