Struggle with Self Care

How does one learn to care for themselves when they were neglected/abused as a child?  What does being cared for look like?  I thought for years since I had a roof over my head, food to eat, and clothes to wear I was taken care of.  I didn’t know anything different.  Raising my own children…

Rules of healing

Every person heals at their own rate and in their own way.  However, I learned from reading many blogs, books, and articles that there are a few basic rules that show up on a regular basis. Rule #1 Stop lying, especially to yourself.  This is difficult to look at your own life without excuses or…

Raising Awareness

One of the basic tenants of counseling is raising awareness of what abuse is.  Most people will shake their heads and claim….I do know what it is.  I can’t tell you the shock I felt when emotional abuse was first outlined for me.  This is a link that shares questions to consider if I the…

Slogging Through PTSD

The original title for the workbook I am doing was going to be Slogging through PTSD, which I believe is far more accurate than most people want to admit.  One of the stories it asked you to imagine you are in a bog, up to your hips in ooze, and as the day heats up…

Triangulation

This technique in keeping a victim confused and down is sometimes called ‘bringing out the flying monkeys.’ (Wizard of OZ reference… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SESI19h4wDo ) When an abuser can’t put you down themselves, they enlist others to do their bidding.  Or if they can’t win an argument they will bring in a third party person to ‘gang up’…

Back to Basics

I was writing to someone that is working with a person diagnosed with disassociation. No matter what level of disassociation there are some basics that help. Grounding….I list that in my web page https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2015/02/24/grounding-technique/ Boundaries https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2015/06/21/the-b-word/ Art – any and all kinds. I use coloring, drawing, photography, mixed media, collage, pretty much anything that allows expression…

PTSD has the upper hand

I worked hard through 10 years of counseling.  Then every so often PTSD gets the upper hand.  I slide back down into the pit of gurgling unresolved emotions with slick steep sides and no rope thrown to me.  PTSD is an on going battle.  I start to believe I have it whipped and it sweeps…

Unexpected Side Effect

Cloud and Townsend, in their book Boundaries, reminded me one of the unexpected side effects of setting boundaries.  In the process of setting boundaries, I identify my needs.  I remember the first time my counselor asked me what I wanted.  I looked at him blankly.  I had no idea.  As I selected my rights and…

The ‘B’ word

Once you understand that you have rights to protect it is time to add Boundaries to the tool box.  You can review the page that I have on boundaries.  https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/coping/boundaries/ These are the books on Boundaries that my counselors suggested: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend http://store.cloudtownsend.com/boundaries-softcover-book.html http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454 This book is based…

Reluctant diagnosis

I was in counseling for several years before my counselor reluctantly supplied a diagnosis.  I wondered for a long time about this.  My boss at the time, demanded I give an explanation as to why ‘medically,’ I blanked out sometimes.  All my previous bosses accepted the statement that at times I stopped functioning and it…