Fear of Success

Raised in trauma with my earliest memories terrifying, I could list off a huge number of fears.  Fear of the dark, fear of strangers, fear of stray dogs, fear of blah…blah…blah.  The one I didn’t expect ever and was totally unaware of until counseling was a fear of success.  I was puzzled for a long…

Change your Focus

I was miserable last night.  We went with our grandkids to a carnival with flashing lights, loud music and junk food.  The kids enjoyed themselves immensely.  I asked my daughter with TBI how she was coping with all that was going on.  She pointed out her baseball type hat that shielded her eyes from most…

Planning Helps prepare

Like clock work my anxiety rises and falls with certain seasons.  I finally figured out that the anxiety starts mid October…..my mother’s birthday….until end of school when she would finally relax.  My life still seems to revolve around my mother that explained to me she hated me in our last conversation. So how do I…

Super Power

My super power was dissociation and my counselor took my super power away.  Well, it felt like that.  Dissociation is the ability to disconnect, disengage and not be there for an experience. Lilly Hope Lucario https://themighty.com/2017/08/life-impacting-symptoms-of-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/  Lilly agrees with me that dissociation is a coping tool.  Works amazingly during times of extreme trauma.  Using dissociation…

In Search of Knights

Needs shiny armor and white horse. Feeling helpless as a child I wanted someone to rescue me.  That same theme is echoed in many childhood stories of someone swooping in and saving the day – EVERYDAY.  The Lone Ranger, Mighty Mouse, The Prince in Cinderella and Snow White, Lassie, all continue this theme of someone…

Baby-steps

First of the year we are bombarded with meme’s to set goals, make resolutions, embrace the change and get moving.  For many years I hung my head in shame and gave up on January 2, because I was going to break those resolutions anyway, may as well get it over with as quickly as possible. …

24 hours later

Interesting how sitting with your emotions for 24 hours can help them each have a turn center stage.  It sucked getting news about my mother’s death on facebook….the reality is my phone isn’t working well.  I put it on the charger and left to go shopping.  I was literally out of contact from any family. …