It’s your experience

Too often I was told how I should feel, how long I should hurt, and ridiculed if I cried.  I learned to stuff how I felt, no longer acknowledged my pain, and didn’t cry.  I was emotionally self destructing.  I spent 3 years almost completely bed ridden.  I could be up about 20 minutes a…

Explaining Stuck

I keep doing research and reading what others write about the challenges of PTSD.  One of the more perplexing terms used by counselors is the explanation that I am ‘Stuck.’  Well great, what does it mean and how do I get unstuck?  I imagined myself ‘stuck’ in quicksand, the more I struggled the more ‘stuck’…

Bleeding

This may be highly triggering for some people.  Proceed with caution. I wrote this early in my counseling. I was attempting to get across to my counselor the struggles I was having with emotional distress. I’m bleeding I go to my parents – I’m bleeding. Oh honey I’m sorry to hear that, here’s a little…

Anxiety

Anxiety is one of the leading and aggravating symptoms of PTSD.  My daughter-in-law posted a link to an awesome article on anxiety.  Not everyone with PTSD experiences anxiety.  Not everyone with anxiety has PTSD.  However, I believe this article can help people understand what she experiences with anxiety.  She did label it with trigger warnings. …

You don’t know

what you don’t know. This week I was reminded something taught to me by my first counselor.  I was stumbling through several counseling sessions when I first started going, confused and resentful not understanding where he was trying to get me to go with my thinking.  I couldn’t grasp what he was trying to say. …

Don’t have to sit on it

I love quotes and posters and a clever reminders. PTSD exists because something negative happened.  I fell on a cactus.  It was painful and difficult pulling out every hooked thorn.  Sometimes a person is pushed into a cactus patch.  No matter where they put their hand more pain occurs.  The struggle out is painful and…

Learning from a child

An important part of surviving PTSD is allowing myself to experience missed childhood adventures and feelings. Early in my life I was trained not to feel emotions.  When I started feeling my emotions I spent much of my time trying to name them and understand them.  I looked at each one from every angle.  I…

Combinations of thoughts

I am blessed with awesome Facebook pages that encourage me and inspire me to be better.  They also assure me that I am of worth just as I am. These are a couple of pictures that came through my timeline that I saved to use here. Often when I am trying to select ways to…

SMART baby steps

PTSD is a monster to live with.  My attempts to remove it from my life is less than what I would like it to be.  I learned the hard way trying to eradicate it from my life in all one go is not going to happen right now.  I set myself up to fail setting…