Why bother sharing information about behaviors of abusers? Sometimes you are so used to being put down, called names, made a butt of a joke, or gaslighted that you don’t recognize the behavior as abusive. I work at a high school, about once a year I talk to the classes about boundaries and how to recognize abusive behavior. Almost every time a student will end up in counseling because they didn’t know that what was happening to them was abuse. I lived in a toxic environment growing up. I was taught how to emotionally manipulate people as an actual lessons. My mother’s reasoning, “Women are the weaker sex so we need to use the tools we have available, tears and emotions.” Then she demonstrated how to do this. Counseling opened my eyes to what was happening in my life. I worked hard to overcome my past but triggers remind me that it is never far away. Read through this list. If you are not sure what one of them mean follow the link below. I feel like the information lines up with what I encountered before. I did not follow every link.
I find the picture a bit disturbing so I am giving you a heads up before you click.
Here are the 20 diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you.
3. Nonsensical conversations from hell.
4. Blanket statements and generalizations.
5. Deliberately misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity.
6. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts.
7. Changing the subject to evade accountability.
8. Covert and overt threats.
10. Destructive conditioning.
11. Smear campaigns and stalking.
12. Love-bombing and devaluation.
13. Preemptive defense.
15. Bait and feign innocence.
16. Boundary testing and hoovering.
17. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes.
18. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone.