Loss of Faith sometimes

Faith is a tricky thing.  First off, not everyone believes it is the same thing.

The computer dictionary shares this on faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something; strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.

From the article: “Complex trauma survivors often endure a loss of faith. This can be about people, about the world being good, about religion, and a loss of faith about self.” https://themighty.com/2017/08/life-impacting-symptoms-of-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/

I learned as a child believing in things that are not seen, but are true.  I also learned it is like a little mustard seed.  A mustard seed is a tiny seed that grows into a massive bush of 20 feet tall and 20 feet wide and able to thrive in arid hostile environments.  I struggled with faith when I listened to the person praying for my protection was the one I need protecting from.  It is mind boggling.  In my preteen years, I doubted everything.  At that young age, I decided to go straight to the source and read the New Testament.  I had reading difficulties so it took awhile but I persisted.  I didn’t understand all that I read but I did get the point the Jesus understood my suffering.  He knew my anguish.  I also realized that he didn’t stop bad things from happening but healed where damaged occurred.  Yes, I struggled with this.  Eventually I gained a very strong faith in Jesus Christ.  It kept me going in tough times.  I later realized that I stood common belief of Maslow’s pyramid of needs on its head.  For those not familiar with Maslow’s theory https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4136760.  In an unsafe, with my other needs unmet, I grew in strength in faith.  My counselor believes similar to me and we actually had discussions on this.  He asked me why did I have such a firm faith when bad things had happened to me.  I looked at him calmly, “He didn’t promise us a perfect world, He promised healing and growing.” I also believe that Heavenly Father gave us agency meaning we were going to make mistakes and some of them were going to be whoppers.  However, you don’t know what a person is willing to do until they have an opportunity to do it.

The areas of faith I struggle with is faith in myself and other people.  I cry when I watch the video’s about people doing kind acts.  I am puzzled when someone does something kind to me.  I am not sure how to respond when good things happen to me by people I don’t expect.  Loss of faith is an issue for me in these areas however, my faith in Christ kept me moving forward when nothing else could.



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