I talk often about counseling, for a reason.  I had an amazing counselor that from the beginning of our work explained that his job was to work himself out of a job.  His goal was to teach me the skills I needed to live so I didn’t need a counselor to tell me what to do.  My friend posted an article on Facebook about counselors.  It shared ‘secrets’ the author claimed that a counselor won’t tell you.  Mine did.  He would tell me that what I felt was more important than what I thought.  He told me he was thankful to have a PhD and 30 years of experience to deal with me.  He told me he had bad days and reassured me that I came to see him as a counselor and not himself.  He also talked about having to leave his frustrations at the door to focus on helping me with my frustrations.  He reminded me often that he could only point me in the right direction; I had to see my journey through.  He told me over and over there was nothing that I could say that would change his opinion of me.  I doubted him when he would remind me I was a good person and worth helping.  He would tell me anyway.  I was blessed with an amazing counselor and further blessed with two more on my journey.  However, I also had a not very good counselor.  I fired her after two meetings.  She told me she had experience with PTSD and I knew by the second round that she didn’t.  I walked away.  Another counselor pointed out she didn’t specialize in PTSD her experience was more with depression.  I worked well with her because I felt she was honest with me.  I agree with the article, my relationship with my counselor was a vital part of my healing.  He taught me boundaries by having boundaries himself.  He taught me patience by being patient with me.  He told me over and over again that he would work himself out of a job with me.  He did.   In my opinion, I would look for a therapist that is willing to tell you these things.

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