Long time still no answers

I was browsing through my bookmarks and looked over the list of articles all about child abuse and what needs to be done about it.  The articles start in 1985. http://www.vachss.com/av_dispatches/parade_articles.html Thirty years and we aren’t any closer to answers.  The number of children abused is increasing.  I remember as a teenager watching a movie on the first child abuse laws were written under the animal abuse laws.  The man in the movie pointed out that if laws were being passed to protect animals shouldn’t a child at least be rated as an animal.  But time shows this willingness to protect animals but not a child still persists today.  The first step towards abuse is to make the victim less of a person.  Child abuse, especially child sexual abuse, is one of the main causes of CPTSD….not the only one, because I am sure someone could give many examples of other situations.  What I see today is not an increase of protection of children rather an increase of sexualizing children and exposing them to more and more inappropriate material.  Television is much more open about sex during prime time television.  I remember the big controversy of the movie Blue Lagoon and the fact that Brooke Shield wasn’t allowed to go to the opening of the movie she started in because she was considered too young.  Now, there is no controversy movie’s more sexually graphic are shown on home television and anything and everything is available on the Internet.  I was often dismayed by the TV shows my kids watch but I tried watching with them so I had some idea what was happening.  Occasionally, my children would might say more than occasionally, I would turn it off.  I now wish I turned it off more often.  I also closely regulated computer access at home.  I knew that other parents were far more lenient than I was.  I felt frustrated.  I knew the damage caused by exposure to too much sexual activity too young.  The pedophile spent time in jail and I have a life sentence of PTSD.  I am better at managing it….but sometimes it gets the upper hand.  When I was in counseling, the kindest words I ever heard were “I believe you” from my counselor.  There are still no answers.  I hope that in this blog I can continue to share ideas on how to manage the fallout of someone else’s choices.

668cd-_rm14823Feelings of shame are difficult to overcome when the predator blames the child convincing them that what is happening is the child’s fault.

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3 thoughts on “Long time still no answers

  1. I think children are still regarded as the parents’ property. This needs some very focused campaigning to change.

    And we need transparency – violence needs to be reported and children need to feel free to do it. Eg my wife when being abused as a child had some people visit her class and talk about reporting if they were abused. But the speaker said, “If this ever happens to you . . . ” and she was so young she didn’t think about reporting what was happening. A mistake that small . . .

    And people fear that reporting can have negative consequences for the child. The only solution I can see to this is transparency.

    One group that may be able to do something is the churches. They could declare every building a sanctuary for any child. This could be entirely consistent with working for family reconciliation. Jesus had some very direct things to say about people who are nasty to children (they weren’t very polite either).

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