Sharing my thoughts

I share my experience with PTSD with dissociation at a severe level because I want to let others know they are not alone.  I have no military experience.  My combat zone was called home and neighborhood.  The area I lived was considered a “good” neighborhood with plenty of doctors, lawyers and teachers. The worse abuser of them all was a neighbor who happened to be a university professor.  He was smart and considered a pillar of the community.  His specialty was hurting children, a lot of children.  I was not his only victim.  I was easily available due to parental neglect and the belief we lived in a “good” neighborhood.  I am thankful to the counselor that spent 7 years teaching me how to live like a real person.  It was toughest thing I ever did.  About 6 years into counseling my therapist asked if I would rather be a pioneer in one of the unlucky groups that suffered greatly or do counseling.  I told him I would make it easy, “I would rather have cancer again.”  I had cancer before counseling.  I knew the difference first hand.  I write and share what I have learned.  Before I could cope, I first had to accept I had PTSD now referred to CPTSD since the abuse was long term over many years.  Then I needed to learn coping skills.  We are not born knowing how to interact with other people.  It is a learned skill.  As coping became a part of my life, I pushed on into thriving thankful that my counselor told me at the very beginning of my journey, “I don’t want you to just survive, I want you to thrive.”  I didn’t know what thriving meant.  However, I set it as my goal.  I like thriving.  I want to share the awesomeness with others.

 

Not Alone

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