Why?

I don’t write about religion on this web page often.  Main reason that many survivors are still angry at God.

Why me?

Why wasn’t I protected?

I was a child, wasn’t I important enough to save?

I’m told to give service at church, why won’t anyone help me?

God’s time is not my time and His solution is not my solution.

Some of these sound familiar to you?

Promises at church if you pray you will have peace, go unfulfilled.  No easy answers.  No person knows Heavenly Father’s heart or mind on these matters.

I will share what I believe…..if Religion is a trigger for you, please stop reading now.

Christ_RM15098Greatest news every shared was two words:  HE LIVES.  The first ones to know were the women that came to care for his body.  They ran and told the apostles, they weren’t believed.  The men ran to the tomb to see for themselves.  I often wondered what happened to the guards at the tomb.  How were their lives affected by Christ raising from the sepulcher?

I spent many years in deep depression.  Deep enough into depression to hit rock bottom.  This is when I learned that Christ is the Rock at the bottom.  I could never say Christ doesn’t understand what happened to me.  Instead in those dark moments when death seemed reasonable, I wondered, “How do I explain to Jesus that my life is too hard?”  I didn’t want to hold that conversation with Him so I struggled forward, many times inching forward on my knees.  I learned I could do anything for 5 minutes.  My progress seemed infinitesimal at times.  Yet, in my heart I knew my Savior was right there with me.  He didn’t stop my progress but He was cheering me on.  Trying to reassure me I could do this.  I don’t understand why we experience many of the things that we do experience.  I do believe that my faith in Jesus Christ helps me to put one foot in front of the other when the darkness hides my progress and my goals.  I learned to pray and then listen.  I opened myself to possible answers that I would not consider on my own.  Moses probably never thought to part the Red Sea until his ankles were wet.  Noah had no concept of an ark until he was directed to build it.  Then had to ask the Lord for directions.  Mary didn’t plan to be the mother of the Savior of the world.  Her grief was deep as she watched Him suffer on the cruel cross. I found answers to my prayers in the darkest of my nights.  I struggle with feeling His love for me.  Then I grab my camera and I see the evidence ever where I point my lens.  I don’t have answers to the why questions but I know who does and trust He will explain it to me when this is over and done.  I believe some day I will be able to talk to Him face to face.  I also believe that if I was the only person on Earth He would still be crucified for me that I might live again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s