Play the cards you got

 

Awareness of childhood sexual abuse

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the cards you’re holding.” ~ Cheryl Strayed

My experience for the last two months was to fulfill one of my “what ifs.”  What if I became a teacher like I wanted instead of going into engineering because my parents thought it would be more lucrative.  I came to the conclusion I would make a terrible teacher.  I am so exhausted.  It is like the students suck all the life out of me and there is nothing left over for anything else.  I am glad now that I am not usually a teacher.  Unusual circumstances changed my position a little.  I am looking forward to being the Instructional assistant again.  I learned so much from this experience but I have little energy left for writing my blog posts or spending time with family or attending church.  I don’t know how to set up the boundaries I need to survive.  Fortunately, I have an awesome co-teacher that is there half the time.  I want the kids to succeed but it is a little difficult when schools are more worried about testing than about students learning.  Tomorrow, or rather today, I get a break to catch up, more testing.  This experience is opening my eyes to my unique position with an awful childhood I am able to get a sense that is going wrong with the students.  Health issues, family crisis, car accidents, and other major events challenge the students.  I know what to tell them to meet life challenges.  I fought through challenges before, I can do it again.  I can teach the students how to cope with tough situations.

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One thought on “Play the cards you got

  1. I know exactly what you mean. I have been teaching for 8 years and it has taken a toll on me. Now, I am excited that I only have one month left and I’ll move on to a different field, helping people in crisis was my first thought. I have no problem working with people but to have the responsibility of “normal” people’s success is just eating me up.

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